I try to be extremely gentle with her. She always say she going home. It breaks my heart to see her like this. My siblings do not help or visit her. But thay all have an opinion. What can I do?
Dear Willie63, I am so sorry for all that you and your mom are going through - this is absolutely heartbreaking!
I do understand how you must feel when your siblings do not help or visit her. I don't have any siblings but, I know how hurt I feel when family friends have never gone to see her since she moved into an AL facility in 2015. She is now 95 and in memory care at a different facility due to the COVID-19 virus. It saddens me beyond belief to the point of anger sometimes.
There's an article on dailycaring.com about "14 Ways to Handle Screaming and Crying in Dementia." It talks about the "why's" too.
Also, try talking to a counselor at the 24/7 "Alzheimer's Association" hotline -- 1-800-279-3900. There usually is a counselor available when you call after talking to the initial person who takes down your information but, there are occasions where they may have to call you back. For me, a return call has always been that same day. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers! Do take care -
When I worked in a Memory Care community before the plague hit, we had a few female residents with advanced Alz/dementia who would scream bloody murder every time they were changed or moved or showered. Really....blood curdling screams that went on for quite some time. They weren't in pain, just distressed and unable to vocalize why. Nature of the beast for some, unfortunately.
Sounds like you need more help than you're getting with a very stressful situation. Please look into hiring in home help every day or getting your mother placed in Memory Care Assisted Living.
Her anxiety and depression may contribute to her screaming. Meds may need some adjusting. Also, there's a neurologic condition called a pseudobulbar affect where a person cries for no reason. It affects almost 50% of Alzheimer's patients. It's treatable. You might bring that up in your next doctor visit. Just a hunch.
I’d discuss it with her doctor and inquire about medication. Does she take medication for depression or pain? I’d request a hospice evaluation or placement somewhere she might be more comfortable. It sounds like she may need a higher level of care.
I would contact the local counsel on aging and get a needs assessment done and hire some professional physical therapists and occupational therapist to help you figure out how to care for her without causing pain or she may be needing more care then you can provide in home.
What does her doctor say about the apparent pain? Has hospice been discussed? Is she getting any meds to help calm her down?
I am so sorry that you and your mom are going through this. It sounds so stressful.
I am so sorry for all that you and your mom are going through - this is absolutely heartbreaking!
I do understand how you must feel when your siblings do not help or visit her. I don't have any siblings but, I know how hurt I feel when family friends have never gone to see her since she moved into an AL facility in 2015. She is now 95 and in memory care at a different facility due to the COVID-19 virus. It saddens me beyond belief to the point of anger sometimes.
There's an article on dailycaring.com about "14 Ways to Handle Screaming and Crying in Dementia." It talks about the "why's" too.
Also, try talking to a counselor at the 24/7 "Alzheimer's Association" hotline -- 1-800-279-3900. There usually is a counselor available when you call after talking to the initial person who takes down your information but, there are occasions where they may have to call you back. For me, a return call has always been that same day. You both will be in my thoughts and prayers! Do take care -
Sounds like you need more help than you're getting with a very stressful situation. Please look into hiring in home help every day or getting your mother placed in Memory Care Assisted Living.
Good luck!
I would contact the local counsel on aging and get a needs assessment done and hire some professional physical therapists and occupational therapist to help you figure out how to care for her without causing pain or she may be needing more care then you can provide in home.
What does her doctor say about the apparent pain? Has hospice been discussed? Is she getting any meds to help calm her down?
I am so sorry that you and your mom are going through this. It sounds so stressful.