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Thanks for your feedback. Yes, I am working on the "I need to fix this" mode, which a major mode for ME to be in. My sister's major mode is "I want everyone to be happy" mode (even at her own expense). We both need to work on our modes!!

The Brain/Memory center she is going to has psychiatrists and neurologists. Her PCP also specializes in geriatrics, so I think we have all the players on board. But there is still more cognitive testing, etc. to do (there have been waiting lists) . We are hoping that the thyroid will help things, but will also be talking to them about anti-depressants. They are reluctant to start new meds until we have completed the testing, so they know more about what they are working with.

Mom definitely needs help with daily meds. She either forgets to take them, or will take them multiple times. When she lived with us kids we would set out the meds for her and then could verify she took them. With AL they need to SEE her take the meds - which I understand because they are medical professionals and responsible to make sure they are taken. But she hates that sort of hand holding. We have considered one of those automated dispenser units, but I think that might be more than she could deal with now.

But maybe we can find someplace that has people who are more with it, or more options for meds. We will keep considering alternatives, but also work at finding peace with Mom not being content. Darn it, she is a wonderful Mom and person and deserves happiness.

I just spoke to her about a follow up appointment I just made to discuss the results of all the testing, etc (which won't happen until March). and said we will find out more about a diagnosis, etc. She said, "Well, I'm just wearing out". She probably has an accurate a diagnosis as any they will give us :)

Get your mom seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. The changes in the brain that accompany dementia predispose folks to depression and anxiety. A skilled psychiatrist can trial meds that may allow mom more contentment.

Empathizing, but getting out of "I need to fix this" mode is important for you and your sister. "I'm sorry you're unhappy mom. The docs say you need to be here to get stronger". My own mom always needed to be "at the top of the class".

Make sure that she really needs SO and not simply an Independent Living facility.

My mom did fine with just three meals a day, folks who were more with it and me refilling her med containers once a week.

If you mom can self administer her meds accurately, she might not need AL.

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