A good thing has happened since Mom has been moved to AL. For weeks my sister and I heard complaints, moaning, obsessions, even major nastiness. We haven't been able to go there in 2 weeks (me - broken ankle, sis -sick spouse). I have tried for 10 days to call Mom, no answer, she doesn't call me. I call AL and ask them to check her phone (she sometimes unplugs things)
The AL tells me they didn't understand why the doctor increased her Zoloft because she is fine with them. Then they tell me she is downstairs with her "best friend" a lot and socializing and eating all meals! (My mother? Really? Is that the person who moans and groans all day? Wow)
Either the Zoloft kicked in and her depression has let up, or she is saving the garbage for me and sis. She' did call sis a couple of times, but has forgotten all about me (the one who does her finances, shopping, laundry and errands, doctor visits! Hurts a little, but as long as she has adjusted and is happy, I'll take it!
Those of you agonizing about whether to put someone in AL, believe me, my mother was the worst, and she has adjusted - so there is hope!

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
AmyGrace, when I saw that your Mom is 100, oh my gosh that is amazing. Cute that she now has a new BBF :)

My Mom is 97 and I have similar issues with her hearing aid... got a new one couple of months ago, now she says it doesn't work... I know it is user error... like you said "her learning is very selective".

Very true Jessie. She will give me the same complaints and claims of unhappiness. I'm debating whether to keep trying to call her. I wonder how long she would go without calling me, since I obviously don't exist any more. Even if she answers, after 8 years she still won't hold the receiver next to her hearing aid so we end up shouting and she keeps claiming she needs new hearing aids - which she got less than a month ago (she just doesn't listen - she isn't that far gone, her "learning" is very selective) Her standard answer when she picks up the phone is a weak little voice, groaning and how bad she feels and 10 seconds later her voice is normal. What an actress she is.

It sounds like it was a good choice for her, even if she won't admit it to you. I have a feeling you'll hear a different story when you talk to her. But you'll know the truth.

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter