My mom, Sarah, who is 99 years old, has moved in with me and is now accusing me of stealing the cash that her sister gives her when she visits. It is not true. She has mild to medium dementia. How do I deal with this? Please help.
I dont care what my siblings think! whatever mum has given me or gives me is still not worth the crap ive had to put up with. Mum manipulates me with money she went MAD when i told her i borrowed off a debt collector for a holiday as she said she would pay for it? I siad NO as she would then use this to hurl abuse at me later on she likes to use money to blackmail me but i let it go the way i see things now is I owe my mum nothing and she owes me nothing!
Yes this happened to me alot last year i heard her on the phone to my sister accusing me? it was my sisters reply that really pissed me though as she believed her? Its very hard but you cant take it personally! i have had to take money from mums purse a few times as she dosnt want to give me money for food?
Mum and i live on very little so i pay bills and she pays food that "phase" of accusing me lasted a few months but shes ok now so far?
Ive tried the writing things down? keeping receipts nothing goes in? she just dosnt get it. also i think blaming someone is easier than admitting they lost it?
I don't think anything will help. It is part of the dementia. You could deposit it, if it is large amounts of money. But, you can't explain anything to someone with dementia. Would handing her a bunch of ones, help. As in, "Mom, you laid it right here."
I have a sis who claims I spend all moms money (I live with her and have been caregiver the last 7 years..) when in reality mom is giving her thousands every time she calls and complains she has no money but works full time plus another part time job on the side. Her boyfriend also gives her 5,000.00 a month extra plus she gets 5,000.00 a month from mom. Mom says its her baby (sis) and I get told by sis and mom gets told as well that I spend too much and mom goes right along with her and agrees!!! When in reality I get nothing!!! I understand but I wish there was a solution. I need the money way more than sis ever will...
Often the best thing to do is to reassure by saying something like, "Mom, don't worry. I would never steal money from you." Then if she has lost it, offer to help her look for it. Being honest and reassuring often works. I wish that we only had to say these things once. Like Jeanne said, don't take it personally. It is just the confusion that goes with dementia.
A couple of months ago the same accusation occurred. Two hours later she yelled down from upstairs that she found her money. Now she is accusing me again. It is so frustrating.
Talk to her sister about keeping cash to a total minimum, only what she needs. Keep it counted and mark down when some is taken out, and why. A small notebook should be OK to mark it down. Protect yourself from accusations.
Its very hard but you cant take it personally! i have had to take money from mums purse a few times as she dosnt want to give me money for food?
Mum and i live on very little so i pay bills and she pays food that "phase" of accusing me lasted a few months but shes ok now so far?
Ive tried the writing things down? keeping receipts nothing goes in? she just dosnt get it. also i think blaming someone is easier than admitting they lost it?