So I think this is more of a vent (kinda long), but here goes. Mom moved into AL on Jan. 19. Two weeks later, she fell in AL (no one walking behind her or making her use her walker) and broke her leg (hip). After 5 days in hospital, she was transferred to a nursing home 45 min away because the short term rehab facility was full and closer nursing homes weren't taking anyone due to COVID lockdowns.
Current NH allows no visitation at all and she's been in solitary confinement for the first two weeks. I have no way of knowing what is going on in there since she is in mid-stage dementia, but all she tells all of us is that she is miserable, constantly in pain, no one will come when she rings the bell to take her to the bathroom ( I was on the phone w/her for 20 min. once and no one came) and when they do come, they are mean. She says she has messed on herself more than once because no one comes in time and then they are more mad. So I'd love to know what is really happening, but NHs have a bad reputation for a reason, so I bet it is probably true. Also probably true because I WAS allowed in the hospital w/her and it would take them 20+ min to respond to the bell.
Anyway, contract w/NH says I can pay for a private duty nurse or CNA to go in there. So I told them I wanted to do that and they said no due to COVID. Why? That person would be licensed and tested for COVID as much as they want and follow all of their protocols. Makes me more suspicious of the place.
Add to that the two previous caregivers I was using aren't returning my texts. One's daughter is in the hospital, so she won't be available anyway and I don't know what is up with the other one. We left it on good terms when Mom moved into AL. So I don't have anyone I trust to pay to go in there. :(
Mom doesn't even remember being in AL, wants to move in w/me or my brother when she is released from NH. Brother says he wants her, but he lives w/his daughter and she doesn't want her. I want her to, but I know that in reality she will drive me and my husband crazy and that neither she nor I can afford FT caregivers here. That is why she was in AL. Of course I hate to send her back to AL because that's where she fell and because due to COVID, we're not really getting what we're paying for -- no activities, visitors have to show a recent negative COVID test, etc. They have just reopened the dining room. They were making them eat all their meals in their rooms, but now most of the staff and residents have been vaccinated, so they are easing up a little. Also, they are short-staffed like everywhere else. I don't know how anyone can say they can't get a job, when all of the NHs, hospitals and ALs are hiring around here. I work at a community college and we will fast-track people in allied health to get their credentials. The training is free.
As usual, there is no good answer I can see. It just s#cks to get old, it seems.