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For the first time in 6 months, Mom seemed almost cheerful today. She told me that she was tired because she had cooked dinner (she's in assisted living) and that she and my brother had been out chasing horses. I just went there with her and let her talk about it. Lately, she has been crying and depressed, but today she was good. Thank you Lord for the small blessings!

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yep! truly agree just let her go with her happy stories. listen to her re-live it in her animated stories... I did it with my mom who had alzheimer's. when she's happy, i feel happy too. enjoy the ride! :) ♥
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Athena3 thanks for the heads up on Ativan. There was an episode with my Mother long story short.... she needed to go to ER to be mildly sedated so she would go home with me she was just refusing so that's how ER entered the picture police needed to bring her there no other choice. They gave her Ativan/benedril combo...
This made her like a silly drunk couldn't even walk ... wasn't funny then but...NOW a funny story ... she and I went to bathroom in ER she got her pants around her knees, underwear down she almost made it to the bowl and somehow she missed and ended up indian style just like that.... her Butt hanging out and should could not figure out how to get out of that position. She says slurring her words into one word
" IfeellikeI'mdrunk!" I laughed so hard I had to go PP myself or wet my pants. Surprisingly enough she did not wet herself. Although it was funny... after a night of drama she was calm, this seemed to be a worse condition than her fighting me. Be careful of any medication read all side effects ask pharmacist of combo's with other meds. We as care givers need to be proactive and weigh pro's and cons because believe it or not, no one cares as much as you do about the fine line of these details. If a medication for behavior as in psych med makes a persons quality of life better even if it may shorten life it may be a decision you need to make. But if meds like this alter a person and make the quality of life worse find a better solution. As care givers we see the changes and if you know a persons personality is altered it may be medication and not an illness. If a person you care for is a strong willed person they will always be if they are sensitive and needy they will always be etc.. I have found that personalities with all types of dementia pretty much remain the same. Behaviors may be altered due to dementia but just remember a leader is always a leader and a follower always a follower. I hope you all understand what I mean.
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CAPNHARDASS...Please be very careful with Ativan...it can cause severe problems in an elderly person who has dementia...I learned this the hard way...you can google 'Ativan and the elderly' and you'll see what I mean...best of luck to you!!!
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I'm delighted to hear it!!!
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abby33 This is great news!!! The bottom line is happiness right. I would like to point out something to you about your update. The conversation may have busted your bubble because you had seen your Mom happy for the first time in a while. You should think about why she said that to your cousin. She probably is trying to make a reason for the cousins questions. Cousin probably asked her how's she's feeling so there's two ways to answer this....good or not feeling well, she probably said "not feeling well" because she's confused about why she's there. If she looking at people in scrubs and taking pills and looking at strangers with walkers and wheelchairs and visitors come and go. She may think she's there because of illness (not admitting she needs help) Then considering her Dementia she probably thinks she's eating out alone and made an excuse for being out alone, but remembered you were there and can't remember where you went or why or with who, so she may have made an excuse for your absence by confusing something she witnessed at the assisted living like you chatting with another person and thinking it was your MIL.(just an example)
It is amazing to me that my Mom can tell me every person in the NH's behaviors to a T. She knows who drools, who yells out obscenities, who's nice, who cry's, etc. but does not remember that I am her daughter for the most part. BUT!!!! I bring her a goody every visit, something sweet, ice cream, lolly pop, cookies, candy and at this point if I show up without a treat she reminds me pleasantly, that she is in the mood for a treat. She gets all sweet and say's " I'm in the mood for what is it called????" If she can't remember what it's called, she'll describe it and lick her lips. I'm her Willy Wonka LOL I just thought of that!!! So my every visit starts with Hi beautiful!!! you look pretty today, big smile and guess what I got for you? No matter how she looks. The other day she had jelly all over her pants .. I said well you enjoyed something sweet huh!!! She gigged. then said oh that was a long time ago .. afraid of not getting her treat! So I don't get upset I'm not her daughter to her anymore. I'm just glad I found a link to a smiling face. Mind you this did not happen over night!
Oh and just yesterday she said her fiance' was picking her up. I'm getting married!!! She blushed and said "he's so good looking!" I'm enjoying the stories. At least she doesn't say go away your bothering me, anymore. I have learned to observe and tell staff my concerns away from her eyes and ears. No Drama in her presence.
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abby, dealing with someone with dementia can feel like being on different mental tracks. The shift from reality makes it difficult to have a meeting of the minds. If we didn't know what the truth was, we would believe the strange stories. They almost make sense, though I can't imagine most of our mothers out chasing horses.

My mother has had a real shift recently. She is more active and agitated, and she knows what she knows and is right... even if she invented the reality in her mind. She is on this very determined track that no book on dementia describes. I am just trying to stay off her track so we don't have a bad collision. She can be one mean woman when it comes to me.

I like the days when they are happy and pleasant. I like the days where things almost make sense. I'm never surprised, though, when their perception switches fast like your mother's did. When someone makes up a reality as they go, it doesn't take much to change the way they feel and what they say.

I am starting to talk like someone with dementia myself. Sometimes people make suggestions about talking about spiritual matters or other things with my mother. They don't know that it can be difficult to make mental contact at all.
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im happy today. mom was upped from .5 mg ativan to 1.0. effin yay..
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Well, maybe , tomorrow she will forget that and have you and your brother running after those horses again( I just love that imagery!). Hang in there!! (((hugs)))
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Update...My cousin just called and she had just talked to Mom on the telephone. Mom told her that she was really sick and that my husband and I had left because his mother is living with us and we'd rather eat dinner with her than with Mom. My mother-in-law lives across the country from us. Oh well...enjoy it while it lasts :)
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Hi Abby33, that is great! I hope you and your brother chase horses tomorrow as well! ;0)
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Go with the flow and enjoy the happy times!
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