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She sleeps all the time, has a pain pump and has not eaten anything in 10 days or had a drink 8 oz in 4 days.

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hello, my 93 yr old mom was detected with a cancer in her ear called squamous cell in october. they tried 5 treatment of radiation but it drained her. she is living at home w/my sis & my bro-in law & they treat her like the angel she is. im having a very hard time accepting the hospice thing that is going on now. thank god she is at home but the thought of them not giving her treatment & just providing pain management is killing me
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So, really, this is your uncle, your mother's brother who not only apparently does not give a (*&% about standing by his sister and honoring her at the funeral, but foists the dirty work of delivering the message to his wife? Let's see, angry, protective. Why not?
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is it wrong to be angry at my mother's sister in law, who said , we are going on vacation, do not wait for us to get back for the funeral? They did not leave me with a number to reach them, they left the number for one of my cousins to call.
Am I being over protective??
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rocky road? sorry just to easy. my love, not easy shelleyanne
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yes she is on hospice. she asked for ice cream today.
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I am going repeat the question shelleyanne asked, is there hospice available in your area? They can be a great support near the end of a loved one's life, answering questions, showing us how to keep them comfortable, and providing support to the caregivers and family. My mother in law passed on recently, and hospice was a gift.
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I'm praying for you both sweets.
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holding up ok. they discontinued the maintenance drugs and is just treating her for the nausea and pain. they say that sometimes the patient can pass in a few days or weeks. I am hoping that she will pass away in peace.
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Hmmm, I got a notice that the webmasters had cleaned out all the url links within my messages. We ain't supposed ta do dat. See the link to "How We Die" is still there.
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Amya how are you holding up? how are things going?
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There's a great book I reviewed when it first came out (being paid to read books, what a gig!) titled "How we Die" by Sherland Neuland

My massage therapist (when I could indulge in that) also taught a Jin Shin energy healing class. She said if you hold on to both big toes while the person is in the death process it will assist them for easier transition.

I mentioned this to my Reiki Master friend (Reiki also energy work, and she initiates people into doing Reiki herself), and darned if she wasn't with her father when he was dying (immediate cause of death was too MUCH oxygen pushed into him!). She remembered my comment and went to foot of bed to hold his toes. She said she could feel the effect immediately, and watched him go peacefully...all visible on the bedside monitors.

Well, sorry for the morbid tip, but some times it's nice to fall back on something to DO while waiting, something that may bring some comfort.
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If she is in the process of dying, then it's been my experience, that once she is lying down all the time her breathing will start to get labored. Her heart will not be able to pump hard enough to clear out her lungs because of the fluid build up. Once that happens, then you start to hear the 'death rattle' which is the fluid in her lungs that she's trying to breathe thru. It's unnerving, to say the least, but it shouldn't be long after that. My father-in-law just stopped breathing all together, without any struggle when the 'death rattle' started. For as bad as it sounded, it was pretty silent when he died. I'm sorry about your mother.
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The thing that's still not known, perhaps too late now, is: would she have gone unconscious if she had had saline drip all this time? When I had the hospice talk about Mom, when I really thought she might only have six months to live, I got the impression that once everyone made a decision to go that route, that if the person could not eat or drink by themselves, there would be no feeding tubes nor hydration lines provided. Personally, I think I'd rather have a more gradual and comfortable death being hydrated. Hmm, wonder how long a life can be extended providing just hydration? This is assuming that something else is really cause of death.
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Let me just give my uneducated ideas. Hospice can be really teriffic and they get it. Hopefully your mom is in as little discomfort as possible. This isn't easy kiddo. Love from Arizona.
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Why not get someone to hook up a saline hydration line? When my mom is in ER or hospital, they have her hooked up all the time. I imagine that being on narcotics makes one sleepy, and the person will not wake to drink or even be aware of it.
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ohhh i can relate to this situation too. My mom had done that before, always sleeping, wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink I came to using droppers on her lips and soaking cotton with liquid just to keep her hydrated. Thought she's gonna pass away but lo and behold! She's still alive... lol... it's not yet her time. This has actually happened two times already. I kid myself if this ever happens the 3rd time you figure what I will do :-) Well, one more thing. I guess she's near death because after many days of sleeping, she asked for a glass of very cold water, as in ice cold water. I remember many stories of near death people who came back to life and a glass of ice cold water was the 1st thing they asked.
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Amya, I'm not a medical person, but it sounds like, yes, it could be that your Mom is heading into her final days/weeks. You could talk to a doctor or nurse to find out more.
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yes, is this the dying process starting??? how long do you think it will take, she takes maybe an ounce or two of liquid a day.
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sounds like she has shut down, do you have hospice?
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