She lives in an apartment inside my house, and is at the mild-moderate stage of Alzheimer's. She doesn't bathe much if at all, sleeps in her clothes, I have to sneak in on the one day she goes to the program I enrolled her in through Medicare (they take care of her medical issues and require at least 1 day at their center, and she grudgingly goes to that), and do her wash. When it's done, I have to put things back wadded up in the chair or wherever I found them, or she'll pitch a fit that I was in her apartment.
Now, she's started putting the bag of cat food in odd places (under a blanket in the closet?) and then the cats don't eat regularly. If I feed them when I come in (usually once a day), I have to brave my mom's yelling and trying to physically block me from feeding them or freshening their water bowls. She is in total denial that she has any serious deficits, and just stares blankly when I point out where I found the cat food and why it's important that she let me help her with her cats. She spits out the nastiest bullsh*t you can imagine when I say this. It's unbelievable.
She has 2 cats, one is very elderly, and I cannot take them in (I have 3 of my own, and they pee all over in protest if I bring in strange cats - I've tried) and they'll be put down immediately if I take them to a shelter around here. My mom would also be truly, deeply heart-broken if I took her cats away.
SO... I just needed to vent. I need to wear her down on my filling their bowls when I come in (I will go in every day now that I've seen that she can't even keep track of where the bag of food is), and I'll just have to deal with the yelling and nastiness in the meantime. I am so tired of her being awful about any assistance whatsoever. I just hate even looking at her sometimes, I'm so tired of it, and I know it's only going to get worse. I only hope that she becomes less aware of being helped as her memory and confusion get worse - if she remains as paranoid and ready to pounce on ANY sign that she's being treated differently, I don't know what I - or any caretaker - will do.
Rant over... thanks for listening.