Mom fell again.


She doesn't know if it's that the home health aid didn't roll up her pants legs enough or if it was newspaper that fell off table. Brother had to help her up. The health aid doesn't dry her enough. She is still damp. The first time she told aid she was still damp. You can use another towel. She didn't mind. This is the second time she came out. It happened again. Mom said give me towel and I will get myself dryer. I have posted asking how to distance myself from mom. My instincts tell me to drive up there and pin up a couple of her slacks. Then take them to be themed. But I don't want to chance sliding on ice. Since I have to drive back roads. Plus I am emotionally exhausted from her. I don't want to do it. She can ask the lady that does her laundry to pin up and take to be them a few slacks at a time to be themed. She might do it if mom pays her to do it.
Of course mom would come up with a list of reasons why that won't work. I'm so sick of her. That I don't care much anymore. I will visit her in the hospital if she hurts herself.


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Hi, Barbara, As someone who has suffered from severe anxiety, I think that I understand how you're feeling. You're already feeling anxious because that is natural for you. Every time your mom calls you with a problem, the anxiety becomes even greater. You desperately want to help your mom with all of her problems, but there are very real barriers to helping her ([1] you live quite far away; [2] it's winter and the roads are icy; [3] your mom tends to reject your suggestions when you try to offer help. If you think the way that I sometimes think, something like the following may be running through your head: "If I don't do everything that I possibly can do to help my mom, something terrible is going to happen." Trust me, that is not a rational thought. That is anxiety talking. Free-floating anxiety (the constant feeling that something is awful is going to happen) attaches it to whatever is going on the time. (1) The person feels anxious. (2) Because we are rational beings, the person assumes that something that currently is going on has caused the anxiety. (3) The person begins to worry obsessively about the presumed cause of the anxiety. Constant worry about your mom won't help her, and it could harm you. Your mom isn't all alone. You are not her only source of help. Trust me, it is far more important for you to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself than it is for you to try to find a solution to every one of your mom's problems. Could you call a friend and vent about "my aggravating mom who won't take any of my advice"? How about a long, hot shower as a stress reducer? Maybe you'd enjoy reading a magazine and drinking a nice cup of tea or cocoa. If your mom calls again about the too-long pants problem, offer her one simple, practical solution. For example, "Ask brother to pin up your pants with safety pins." If she rejects it, say, "I'm sorry that won't work. I hope you can come up with another way to solve this." Don't offer another suggestion.

I got my mom to wear leggings. So stretchy comfortable and nice tight ankles.

Would your mom consider switching to dresses? My mother also fell the other day when her pants fell off as she was getting up to answer the phone. I can't find any smaller sized pants without resorting to children sizes.

Hadnuff, as people get older the more they will fall.... and the number of excuses for the fall will keep growing and growing.

I know all about those pant legs. Clothes manufacturers don't realize that when a person is petite in size, the person will continue to get shorter and shorter as the years ago by. My Mom was always rolling up her pant legs as petite sizes for length were still too long for her. Got to a point where I started to buy her crop pants which are shorter, and those fit pretty good, except for cold ankle complaints :P

Does your Mom use a walker? If not, then she needs to start learning to do so.... I know easier said then done... my Mom refused a walker big time. And her final fall was her last fall :(

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