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My mom has started to moan and groan in the a.m. and it's loud enough to wake me up, and that is no small task. My mom says she hurt her back lifting a laundry basket two days ago. It really scared me this a.m. and I had to leave her so I could go to work, I felt so bad, guilty, sad. She slept for 22 hrs last Saturday, and that started a panic for me, I don't think I've ever been so scared in all my life. Anyway, I'm new to caregiving and I don't know what to expect, is the moaning and groaning loudly normal for an ageing Mom? Is there any books that could help me come to know what some of the common things that may occur? Thank you in advance

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The problem is she will not go to the doctor. She was a nurse and dietician all her life. She also worked in a retirement home for many years. Anything that has the word "Senior" on it is rejected. Her moaning was pretty limited this a.m. way better than yesterday. I don't know, it could be a hernia, it could be her internal organs (liver or kidney). When I touch her stomach to put her heating patches on, it really hurts her. Thank you for your kind words and support, and I try not to panic, I sure did last weekend. I can't picture my life without Mom. She been living with me for about 16yrs now.
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Has she seen her doctor since she strained her back? That might be a good starting place. At the very least they can prescribe or recommend some pain medication, and possibly some physical therapy. Sleeping around the clock day after day is scary, but a day in reaction to an injury doesn't sound out of bounds. What to expect is a combination of what impairments your mother has, her basic attitudes and life philosophy, what meds she is on, etc.

Read up on your mother's condition. Accompany her to all medical appointments. Get her to sign the HIPPA release papers so that her doctors can discuss her case with you. Ask the doctors for reading materials. What to expect in a parent with complications of diabetes is different than in a parent who has COPD or one who has dementia.

Bless you for being willing to take caregiving seriously. You will learn as you go along, especially since you are willing to seek information out. Try not to panic, and let go of the guilt. Feeling bad and feeling sad seem appropriate to me, and that is quite enough of an emotional load.

Good luck!
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