Mom (who lives me while waiting on her senior apartment to become available) expects me to do her paperwork 24//7.

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Mom..who lives me while waiting on her senior apartment to become available...expects me to do her paperwork 24//7. Shes mad because I said Not today...it's my day off....yet she kept chasing me with it..her check account doesn't match...I suggested its one check that didn't get deducted...we will look at Monday...she stomped off pouting...I need to set limits..this trying to make me feel guilty is getting tiresome....hubby and I took off today by ourselves....I know she's not happy...I refuse to carry this burden of guilt she tries to place on me....and yet it feels mean...and she pouts when I say no....help



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And army retired ...I love the vacation idea..a big bunch!
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Noooooo golf lady! I pray you don't have to wait much longer!! I found out. Moms moving into number 2 spot very soon...and several of the residents are in their 90s...so...I'm hopeful....and for right now..her mania is upbeat...enjoying the break..she's actually learning what's expected of her here...like no drama...no hating on others she thinks aren't up to her standards...no gossip..stop the judgement...etc...tough love in other words. I do think a geriatric psychologist is a great idea.....and also I have estate matters almost wrapped up...so she can now go spend 2-3 weeks with my brother! Gotta get through this til her apartment becomes available
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Im in the same spot. Hang on because my mother has been on her waiting list for more than a year, shes been #5 on that list since last summer and shes still at the same spot. It gets worse so hang on.
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Once she is in her senior apartment, you and hubby take a vacation.
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Geriatric psychiatrist!
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Fregflyer....mom does clean her own room..dries dishes for us.....but laundry is in the basement..she can't do steps...sometimes I have her fold things..her vision and mobility is limited..and I have suggested grief counseling..but she says she doesn't need it...I've been taking her to a senior center on Fridays for lunch..chapel and socialization...I can handle everything but het attitude...controlling..she's right...everyone else is wrong..
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Sheri; I'm going to suggest that you read two really good threads here...One is "Is it normal she's so negative?". the other is a couple of different threads by MidKid. check them out; they each contain yards of wisdom!
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Babalou....you are so right..this ordeal has brought to light...issues I had simply buried..but never healed from....my dad and then my stepdad both shielded me...they are both gone..now my hubby tries to do the same..I've come to dislike myself...thro this..the feelings I have towards her..when I set boundaries with her she acts wounded and cries..I hurt her feelings...I tell her I asked you nicely to give me a much needed time off..why does me protecting my mental health hurt you....yes..I have a long road ahead of me....she makes everything a drama...plays on my guilt...but this apartment is a good thing...
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Sherijean, as Pam said about thanks for giving us more information. It is a whirlwind anytime there is a major change. If your Dad had passed recently, there is still grief the family, especially your Mother, has to deal with. Mom is probably scared about her future.

If your Mom is going into senior apartments, can't she do her own laundry while living with you in the mean time? Can't she help with housekeeping? Or is life too confusing for her at this point in time?
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Sheri, it sounds like there is some light at the end there, but don't back out of going to therapy. You've got a long caregiving road ahead of you. It sounds like your dad shielded you from the worst of her craziness, but you have to learn how to set real boundaries.
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