Can't stand being here any more, mom is driving me crazy!!!!

Providing 24 hour supervision to someone in that stage of dementia and still totally mobile is like the "black hole" phase of toddler care (mobile but no judgement or safety awareness, about 9-20 months or so) except there is no hope they will grow out of it, and it is a lot sadder to see a loved one in such a state... do you have any options? any help?

* sigh *
what mekes it worse is the character traits that youve wanted to strangle them for 50 years over are still evident and indeed amplified. my mothers thing has always been blubbering like a two year old in an attempt to gain sympathy and control. well it certainly hasnt gotten better. fortunately ive never responded to such drivel so its increasingly becoming pointless for her to try it. but its still enough to drive ya NUTS most days..

lincol, I don't know how your relationship with your mother was before she became ill. Sometimes it helps to remember the person they were, and know that they would never have done these things before. The disease is making Swiss cheese of their brains and life has become confusion. It can be hard to realize that they aren't doing things purposely to irritate. Things in life are just not making sense anymore.

Living with someone with Alz can be inconvenient. If your mother has a habit of going in the freezer, a lock on the door would solve the problem. Cabinets can also be locked. It is a bit like child-proofing. Harmful things should also be locked away, so she won't become confused and swallow something bad for her.

If things have become too much to try to keep her at home, it may be time for her to live in a facility for people with Alz. It is a difficult decision, but nothing about Alz is easy. You are a wonderful daughter for trying to take care of her. Sometimes it can just become too much trying to keep someone at home.

@ lincol
i hope you can get calmed down. my mother has a mixed dx of bipolar and dementia. as her moods shift the people around her are on a rocket sled ride too. you dont take many emotional actions on your own. everything is a reaction to the crazy that youre dealing with. the reactions cause you to make irrational decisions sometimes. i dont have any solution for you im just suggesting that you not blame yourself.the crazy affects everyone involved. families respond negatively to each other. health care workers even draw irrational conclusions . ive seen my own family going in ten different directions at one time. each were on various missions as directed by " crazy " and sometimes there were collision courses predestined. sorry, im bout as bent up as you are today and no doubt babbling..

lincol, I have three pieces of advice for you.

1) Take some breaks! Respite is absolutely essential for any caregiver and especially for those caring for someone with dementia. You need to get away for a few hours regularly and for longer periods periodically. I know that finding and arranging for someone to stay with your loved one can feel like one more thing to add to an already crowded to-do list, but it needs to be done.
2) Learn as much as you can about the disease your mother has. It can help to know what to expect, and to have "official" confirmation that Mom isn't doing these things to aggravate you. She can't help it.
3) Be prepared to evaluate the situation objectively, and to get help if/when it becomes too much for one person to handle. Bring in help, or arrange for Mom to be cared for in an appropriate care center. You job is to see that she gets the best care possible, but with dementia it may not always be possible to provide it all on your own.

Good luck!