Is it normal for a 90 yr old stroke victim not to want to go anywhere? I'm trying to get my mom to go to the senior center, just walk her there in the wheelchair when I pick up her daily lunch but she doesn't want to go anywhere or do anything. She has a hearty appetite, but she just wants to stay in the house.

I tried to tell her about the adult day care idea and she says she doesn't want to go. Could this be depression and should I insist that she start getting out? Her Doctor has already told her that when you don't use it, you lose it.

Any suggestions?

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My mother has Parkinson's and uses a walker. When she moved here, we just brought her everything she needed - then realized that we were making her housebound. I noticed that the longer she stayed in her home, the worse her appearance and health became.

So, I told her that if she wanted groceries, etc. she would have to accompany me. (the stores have those electric chairs and she can still guide them) I also made sure that she got out to do more than go to doctor's appts. It was like pulling teeth, at first. She kept saying that everyone was starring. But I kept insisting and now (2yrs later) she looks forward to outings.

I try to get her to do something at least once a week: breakfast at McDonalds (they have easy access to their buildings), to her hair dresser (who works with seniors), window shopping at the mall (I use a transport chair - looks more like a chair than a traditional wheelchair), and long drives on a nice day.

I would start with getting your mother to agree to just one activity that she would like. Once she sees that everyone is not worried about how she looks and how much better she feels afterward, she may venture out further.

My mother-in-law doesn't like to do stuff with strangers, because she has never had any friends. She always said, 'All I need is my family'. So now she's paying the price and all she has is us. There are things going on all the time where she lives, but no...
I have 2 questions: Was your mom outgoing before the stroke? Is she embarrassed about how she presents herself now after the stroke (physically speaking)? I would ask her why, and see what she says. Tell her you need more than just 'I don't want to'. If the roles were reversed and you were little again, I'll bet she would ask you the same question. When you didn't want to do something that you used to enjoy that is.

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