My Mom is 76 and lives with my husband and I. She moved in with us when my father died unexpectedly and she was left with only a Social Security check each month. I was forced to quit work to stay home with her, as she has many health issues. My husband has a good job, but there are still no extras. We built a house because she was not "comfortable" in the apartment we had. We gave her the master suite, largest closet, by far, and the roomiest bathroom. I taxi her to doctor's appointments and other medical facilities constantly. We buy her things all the time, feed her, entertain her, take her out to shows and dinners, etc. The whole nine yards. She does not appreciate any of it and, in fact, she grumbles when things are not exactly the way she expects them. She acts as though the house is hers and we are simply her servants. My husband is too kind and respectful to ever say anything.
Anyway, I have two siblings, both of which are married, but no kids. They haven't offered a penny or anything else the whole time she's been with us. And when I mention it, which has only been a few times because I do not enjoy asking, they act as though I am running a scam and just trying to make money off of them. But, what's worse, is my mom's reaction. It is something akin to, "You know they both have either medical problems or financial problems, they cannot help." And she actually gets mad st me for even considering it. Meanwhile my sister and her husband have $400,000 house with a pool, and just bought a &100,000 RV to vacation in every weekend. My brother has always been the black sheep and he is constantly getting himself into trouble and whining to everyone who will listen. Mother, of course, is one of his biggest sympathizers. He's actually one of the reasons she's in this boat. He took out a mortgage on her, paid for the house for a "money venture" and it went sour and she lost her house. She will never admit that it was his fault, however, and makes up stories to her friends and family. She's been coddling him his whole life.
I am just beside myself with frustration, anger, and I am ready to throw in the towel. Any suggestions would be much appreciated. I love her very much but I just think my husband and I are getting a raw deal.