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she hates my daughter shes either jealous or something she acts out terribly when I tell her Im going with my daughter it kills me she cant love my daughter she is a nurse and very caring but with so many threats she refuses to bring my grandchildren here and I hardly get to see them now.

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In addition she has another question posted and we need to encourage her to pick one to keep us posted on. It could get confusing with two discussions on basically the same topic and problem.
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For sure need a little more info, but as already indicated - she is in your home, so you need to set the limitations and alternate care/sitting arrangements for her, and depending on her health issues (is Dementia, etc., in play?) she may be better placed in an Assisted Living situation because of the level of friction. Let us know, we are here for you!
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We need the answers mrsribit has requested. But for starters, you must keep firmly in mind that this is YOUR house. You get to set the rules. One of the rules is that Mom must be at least polite and cordial to your daughter when she is there, or that Mom must stay in her room for the duration of those visits. I don't blame your daughter for wanting to protect her children from exposure to threats, etc., but it is simply not acceptable to be bullied into reduced contact with your own daughter. That issue must be resolved!
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BJ can you give us some more info. What are mom's health issues and limitations? Why did she move in with you and how long ago? What does she give as reasons for not wanting you to leave? Can she call you on the phone if she's having trouble? Does she have money to pay for someone to come in to sit with her when you leave? Where did she live before she came to live with you?
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