My bro and I received "Guardian of Person", May 2013; since then she's been mainly resentful, hateful, and physical with me since I'm the one that pushed the issue of guardianship, due to scammers; medical issues, secret meetings she said she went to; disappearing w/no word of where; not paying basic bills for months, and utilities cut off. I don't live with her so yes, I escape to my home 3 blocks away when she's in one of her moods (rarely she's not, anymore). She's 86yrs old, and has been diagnosed with Schizophrenic with Paranoid Features/Dementia this yr after various test. She's verbally abusive to me and my 66yr old brother, but she's never tried to hit him, just me. She's so bold with her unpredictable reactions that she attacked me in court with the judge, her 2 lawyers, my bro, and the police monitor camera rolling, as witnesses. And then again 10 days later at her home, while I was leaving her house...just charged at me, as I turned around just in time to be pinned up to her front door (while I caught both her hands with mine); with my elbows bruised and bleeding (yes, I got pic's as evidence, and will use them); and then she ended up falling on her butt w/me trying to catch her landing. I hollered for my bro, and I'm lucky he was there to come get her; because she was still trying to hit at me while we were both on the ground. "No, I didn't hit my mother, and never will", but yes I held her hands to keep her from hitting me. She didn't get hurt, which is a blessing; but due to the whooping lies she had already been telling (to include in court), I called the police once I got home, and they listed it as an incident. They told me to call if it happens again; do not visit her by myself, and start a journal to include the court incident.

Originally it was just me trying to care for her since 2007', while still working. My awesome eldest bro of 8 other siblings, finally moved here from another state, and in with her, at her request Nov 2011. My bro, and I have been doing our best to try to make her happy, but nothing is good enough; she's so unappreciative, and just down right mean, right now. He's mainly taken to being her personal guardian, and I'm mainly her rep-payee doing the business stuff, but I still cook and send food to the house for them both. Sometimes she eats it, and sometimes she don't, "whatever at this point", I can't bend anymore; she just takes something else out to eat.

It's been bad enough that she tells the lies to our fam in diff states, but now she called DSS the day before yesterday....w/lies etc.... so they came out yesterday, doing as my bro describe accusing us of this/that (mom said); he's totally done with it all and told them," to do whatever they feel necessary, bring him papers and he will sign for a home/assisted living, and he thinks I will too". This all happened while I was at work, I returned his call but the DSS lady was leaving, so now I have meeting with her next week. My bro is right, enough is enough, now we got to report to DSS..... So I talked to other siblings, the ones that matter in diff states (others don’t even come see her), and decided we have no choices left. Personally by her doing all this, and telling all the lies, and now DSS involved, I could possibly lose my clearance, job etc...for trying to care for mom. And no, I can't have this B.S she's making up in her head with various personalities telling her this/that to just say...... My bro, and I have nothing to hide, and have done nothing to mom. I have gotten all my paperwork together ie..affidavits, witness statement, court papers, journal, pictures, bank statements, receipts, police reports, etc..., and now, I can't wait till my appointment next week.

We love my mother dearly but we can't do this anymore; but we will give her an option what state do she want to go to, or where the majority of our family lives....

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Well we haven't investigated enough to know what type of facility. I'm thinking assisted living, since as I said she hasn't gotten physical with anybody but me. I realize she feels that I betrayed her in some way, by testifying to all that she's been doing. I'm not sure if we should look into nursing home or assisted living or what's the difference. My hopes is that she's monitored more, ensure meds are taken and just comfortable with the environment. She use to see a psychiatrist before the guardianship hearing, but after doc joined in with other docs and wrote statements endorsing guardianship she hasn't been back, and won't go back. My hopes are that she feel better being around others her age, and find a friend. My hopes is that we do the right thing, by her. I know we have to do something, and will ask the DSS peps what they think with all of what she does...

Hi trycope51,
Wow, you could sure use a big ole hug!!! (((( hug)))) and bro too! It sounds like you have done all you can and then some. I think the next step- having your Mom in a more restricted environment - is needed. It sounds like that is where you are headed. Would you place her in a mental institution - is that the right term? Or a NH? Or an AL place? She sounds very ill and in need of professional help. You and your brother have been through so much. Maybe with more extensive help you can get to a place where you can love on Mom safely.

I am so sorry for your troubles. Blessings to you and your Mom and your brother!!

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