Well Mom 88yr. broke her leg end of feb. Fell and broke her femur, had surgery, now has a rod and several pins in it. Don't think she will ever really walk or care for herself or dad 95, again, Before she fell they were still living at home , and we were building onto our home to bring them to live with us, and had just recently transferred there assets, which are not much, into my name, house is falling apart and not worth $5000 they make very little on SSI, and we are now instead of moving them in with us, trying to get them both into the nursing facility, because they now need 24hr care, which before the fall my mom did not need and she could help with dad, all that has changed now.

I'm not sure what the ramifications of putting their house in my name will be, if I need to just sign it over to Medicaid or what, also I now have a POA, mom does not want to stay in the nursing home, and gets upset, dad has stroke induced dementia, and is not going to take the change well at all, especially if they put him in quarantine alone, it will be a screaming crying mess. But there is simply no way I can care for both of them in wheelchairs and unable to transfer or even roll over alone. I feel sad and guilty, and they make me feel like im doing a terrible thing. I've actually had it set up for both of them twice since mom's fall and she has talked me out of it both times, I am adamant this time, I can't take care of both of them, I have hurt my back twice now and am getting sleep deprived because dad keeps me up. I pray the Lord has mercy soon. I would like to have a little bit of a life back, I can't go do anything its hard to even get to the groc. store. I can hire a sitter once in awhile but hard to find anyone dependable, even through agencies. Plus it's expensive and we simply can't afford it. Trying to save for our retirement, is being spent on the folks instead. This whole thing is just crazy and has me at my wits end. Please pray.

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I’m sorry you’re going through this. Please don’t feel guilty, you’re doing nothing wrong, quite the opposite as you’re seeing to it that your parents have safe and appropriate care. Stop discussing your reasons with your mother, she’s only going to remain upset, and it becomes an endless loop of you trying to explain and her fighting back. Don’t put their home in your name and don’t put any work into it. Medicaid will put a lien on it and one day it’ll be sold, the profits used to reimburse some of the cost of their care. Don’t sign anything that will make you financially responsible. I wish you peace in this, knowing how hard it can be

Stand firm. No guilt. Talk to an elder care atty immediately about Medicaid requirements and the house. Prudent guidance is of utmost importance now.

Good luck and Godspeed. I pray the Lord takes my mother on a daily basis. Extreme old age, misery and infirmity is just such a terrible burden for all concerned.

I am so sorry for all of this. Poor mom, I’m sure she is very discouraged with her leg.
I think the best thing is for you to find a certified elder attorney right away to help you straighten this out as it sounds like you will need Medicaid for them both. Gifting is a big no no and could delay their being accepted as Medicaid pending.

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