Mom and Me and 2 Cats Make 4...


Hi, I'm enjoying reading everyone's messages, and so I thought I'd step in and write one too. I'm a 56 year old single person who never had kids and works full time. 4 years ago after my father died I asked my now 84 year old mom to come live with me. It was a very painful time as they had been married for 56 years, and were very close. I almost lost mom a few months after dad died, which I know is a fairly common thing to happen, but she rallied round and has been with me since then. Mom and I are very close, which is such a blessing, and I know that is not always the case. She has degenerative arthritis, and severe curvature of the spine which causes her to be in some kind of pain all the time and any movement is slow. I have two cats, one of whom has taken possession of my mom. Sugar now believes that mom belongs to her, and she will sit beside her on the bed and gaze up at mom with big eyes, meowing and rubbing up against her to snuggle (or in the cat world 'mark' mom as her property). Mom, who was never a 'cat' person has become devoted to her, allowing her to sleep up close. Sugar is a real comfort to mom, who will sit and pet her, have a little talk with her, and feed her little tidbit treats. I must say that this whole experience has turned my life inside out, and some days it's very hard to deal with 'everything'... I have friends that I go out and do things with, which is very helpful. I see that many of you would also like to be able to be paid to care for your parent at home. I haven't been able to find anything except through DSHS, which is VERY low paying, not enough to live on without being supplimented. I would love to hear of any kind of valid and real jobs that would allow me to work from home... Thanks, and have a blessed day!

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.


Hi Miracle08, I haven't been able to check out what's happening with this website until now, so am sorry to not respond before now. In answer to your question about DSHS, it stands for Department of Social and Health Services. You can go into their website and find a phone number to call. Trying to email them will take you forever, and even when you call, you will have to be specific about what you are asking about. It's Long Term In Home Care, and you need to tell them that you are wanting to be the caregiver who is paid to stay home and take care of your mother. They will send you the appropriate paperwork, which you will need to fill out completely and return to them. To apply for this, your mother will have to be placed on Medicaid so you will have to have a complete breakdown of all the income coming into the household, etc... They will take a percentage of her Social Security but she should get to keep most of it. This is a long process and can take a few months, including an in home visit to see how much care your mother needs you to do for her. They are very exacting about what they will pay you to do for your mother. Cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc do not count, but only the physical care you actually give her. In your case, it would be worth it to check this out. I sure hope it is something that can work for you... I wish it would have worked for me, but it just wasn't going to pay enough and I don't have any family to suppliment. Good luck! :-)

I would like to start out by saying "its nice to know I am not alone". I too live with my mom and I am married(4yrs now-separated2yrs). I moved back in with her after the separation and at that point I had 3 cats (I found a kitten last yr on mother's day), now its four. We live in a small 2 bedroom and rely on her retirement&SSI and my disability SSA checks/plus any odd housekeeping jobs that I can find on the side. I am not supposed to work for health reasons.....for economic reasons, I have to do it to feed my elderly mom and my kitties. My mom is in denial of her alzheimers (and has been since diagnosed about 3yrs ago)and has other numerous health problems. Needless-to-say I really don't want to get up much less go out and face the world some days. I have been clinically disabled for depression;yet, I have to put that on the back burner and care for the world and ignore all my situations. What is DSHS? I would be very interested in reading up on it. Could you possibly provide me with a website or other info? Thanks to my kitties I have a stable, unconditional love that is always there for me. It is not contingent on how the person feels or how the illness is progressing. Whatever the weather and/or situation, I am always guaranteed a sweet loving face to welcome (4 to be exact) to wecome me home. God Bless all of our Kitties and the people who care for them......