Time flew by this year. It seems so fresh in my mind and I can't get the picture of her last days out of my head. Now I am looking back and wishing I had been more understanding, more accommodating, held her hand more and tried harder to make her laugh and smile. But she was so difficult up until the last 3 months, it was hard. I miss her more now than I did a year ago. My sister and I are now the "oldest generation". All parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents gone. Now I am unhealthily focused on the fact I will be my mother in a few years. I can already identify with some of her complaints. I find myself slumping, aching and getting tired when I do anything physical. So I feel like I am walking at least 1/4 mile in her shoes and I understand now what I didn't understand well over the past 20 years.