Should we somehow take the phone away so my hubby and I can have our life back. MIL is killing her son, he is so exhausted and says he goes to see her after work to appease her so she won’t call or text and interrupt our time together but it doesn’t work. He ask her not to call so we can be together uninterrupted but she will call and text anyway. She calls to complain about a worker, or no one has come to remove her dinner tray or to say she had diarrhea earlier and what she did about. She talks about how bad the food is.. she gets three choices per meal that is ordered in advance, restaurant style. She’s not nice to people, has no friends and doesn’t care to make friends. She expects people to come to her. Someone, another resident came to see her and she bragged about how rude she was to them and called them crazy. She only wants her son to visit and do everything for her. Her husband died 2008. Her oldest son looks exactly like his dad. Someone said, right in front of me, to her, at my FIL’s funeral, ”If you have your son, you still have your husband!!!” What does that even mean??? All I know is that it left me in shock, especially when my MIL said, “YES!!! I KNOW!!!” She has always been so possessive of him and in front of me will demand kisses several times on arrival and especially when he is leaving. She used to always kiss him on the lips, but I told him how uncomfortable it made me so he stopped it. And SO many, “I love you’s” over and over! I’ve come to learn when hubby is leaving from a visit with her or too much phone talk from her, he has to say, “I love you,”over and over which really means, bye! He hates it. She has never treated her son like a grown up. She has ALWAYS, even before we were married wanted us to move in with her, thank God we didn’t!!! Oh yeah, save lot’s of money but at the cost of living in pure hell. She is bipolar/ obsessive compulsive/ hyper vigilant and not pleasant at all to be around. She doesn’t want to have a hobby because she’s left handed and can’t do anything. Doesn’t like puzzles and thinks card games are a sin of great portions. She won’t go to activities, doesn’t like crossword puzzles. Thank God I got her reading a Kindle but all she wanted to read were trashy erotic love stories. It was SO strange! We recommended Christian books on Kindle but she would say she got so many of those books at a discount so she has to read them??? It felt almost rebellious on her part being mad at us for not moving in with her.
Now she’s in the ALF and she’s kicking and screaming and playing stunts to go to the hospital to get some real help, she says. Then expects her son to be by her side every moment. It’s just been exhausting for both of us with the tantrums and hateful attitudes. Do people, children commit subside or die from the stress of all this???? Do we need counseling???? Any advice? She’s 85 afraid of her power chair, afraid to stand or walk with walker. Physical therapy not working. In wheelchair, in pull-ups and goes to the bathroom every few minutes. Never has enough toilet paper and the list goes on and on. What should we do about the phone??? Any advice???

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