My mental health vent for the day.

I havent gone through what you all are, but I just wanted to lend my support/ears!

ypiffani- you made me smile when you said "I'm a chubby girl I think I'd melt in Hawaii, but maybe I could get cute cabana boys to fan me?? I could live with that. and lots of Pina Coladas, you got a deal dear!"

----Im beyond chubby, but yet, let me know when you and bookluvr are going so I can go too!!! If you all don't mind?? ;)

bookluvr- yes, the weather there, Im always talking about how they have the perfect temps for me!!! Aww I can dream about going at least!!!

Veronica91-great tips!! Hey we should all go!!!

Everyone else- hope your day is a better one today :)

bookluvr, you are so tough. I have to admit the smeared poop would have been the turd that cracked my patience-potty.

Book stop the "what ifs"
He is already violent
He already has a nasty mouth.
He already puts his hands in his poop and smears it around.
He might pull his catheter out. If he does it is off to the ER to have it put back in. On the mainland many daughters would just refuse to take him home but in your culture I know you won't leave him, there. Anyway one of your brothers would bring him back to you.
He might try and get out of bed, so get side rails. If he falls onto the floor another trip to the ER. let the EMTs pick him up.
Now how to get the poopy pants off. How do you usually change them?
Ask your visiting nurse for a spigot to put in the end of the catheter. Detach it from the bag put the spigot in, and change his pants as usual. Then reconnect the catheter to the bag. If you can't get a spigot get one of those heavy duty paper clamps and detach the catheter and clamp it. us a clean plastic bag to protect the end of the catheter. You can secure with a rubber band. If you get a spigot you need to boil it for five minutes before use.
Does Dad already have a definite dementia diagnosis? If not he may not change a lot you will just have to deal with the physical decline.
You have already learnt to stand up to the verbal abuse and think ahead about the physical.
You are well prepared for whatever comes your way and you know others have gone before you and are ready to help you cope.
A vacation in Hawaii sounds wonderful.Why not start planning your trip. You may not get to take it but a free ticket just may come your way or a very cheap fare so be prepared to jump right on it. Remember he who hesitates is lost

I'm a chubby girl I think I'd melt in Hawaii, but maybe I could get cute cabana boys to fan me?? I could live with that. and lots of Pina Coladas, you got a deal dear!
I am sending you strength and love and compassion I wish you and your father the best of all things. Surely there is an awesome life waiting for you after what you have endured in this one.

Ypiffani, do you know what's the scary thing about this? He is just Starting on the road of senility! I sooooo dread the time when he progresses. I've read enough here on this site to Know It's Going to get Worse! That first time it happened, he did not have a urine catheter hooked up. He has one now and it's tubing is snaked along his leg Inside his slack leg. How does one change a very soiled slacks with poop? So far, I can only think of: Cut It. And what if he progresses and starts pulling out the catheter? What if he forgets he cannot walk, and tries to get off the bed? What if he becomes very violent?

Yeah, let's go on a vacation... with a one-way ticket. I'd like to go to Hawaii. Perfect weather for sinus-allergy people who cannot handle winter cold weather.

ooogie Bookluvr... you're right. you win! we both need vacations!

What's wrong with Siberia? too close? too hospitable? you're right... they might still visit.

ypiffani,
siberia ? better keep the old stained clothes too .
you gals are strong to deal with the incontenance day in and out . thats about as s*itty as it gets .
ive rested for 3 days and believe i could wrestle some big stumps thru the log splitter today . big stumps thru the log splitter explains why ive been resting for 3 days . it cyclical ..
ill stop and visit nurse dorreens behind , i mean , aunt edna , on the way if PIA hasnt had me barred from the place yet . i clipped ednas hair out of her eyes . that would make for a most interesting emergency protective order hearing .. id want to be there for that one .

Ypiffani, not so bad as my dad. He had all night to 'play' with his poop. I woke up in the early morning smelling the 'aroma' wafting in the air. Just from the smell, I KNEW it was going to bad. It was bad. He had smeared poop all over his chest, back, inside his shirt, outside his shirt, on his pants and pamper. He's bedridden. I had to cut his new shirt because there's no way of taking it off without the poop landing on his face, head, hair.... The whole time, he's saying, "Why are you cutting my shirt? That's not poop. That's dirt. I'm not stupid to play with my poop. Quit treating me like a child." Ugh!!! The whole time, I wanted to walk out and never come back.

For you, I'm glad that he's going to be placed soon. Let them handle the yucky gross stuff. FYI, you still need to do visits at different hours just to make sure he's being taken care of.

for today?... why does he poo on the floor and cover it with a towel? WHY? I don't get it? I know its dementia and there are times he is out of it totally but THAT? why? and then when I ask him he says if I don't like it I can move out, so THAT makes me really wonder if he is doing it on purpose? ON the bright side!!! I found out he is 3 months away from being placed in a facility!!! WHOOPIE... now I need a job and clothes and on flip that I need clothes that do not have poo and pee and bleach stains on them and then a job that doesn't have poo or pee in it either, i'm thinking something in Siberia wayyy far away from my oh so loving family (hardee har har)... what do y'all think?

eh , wth ..
cuz is being spiteful about me forcing her to take care of her mom for several days and wont let edna out of the NH for our little country drives . its her right as poa , but it is just warped in ways that i dont even care to figure out .
meanwhile edna sits in a wheelchair with no footrests , her feet dont touch the ground so all her lower body weight is on her hemmoroids . theres only so much i can do without troubling a very busy staff . a little frustrating for the moment but respecting and cooperating with the staff will pay off eventually .
patience old man , earn the respect of the staff ..
everybody is linked ..
poa aint right in the head . shes already threatened a lawsuit against staff .
poa - 1
old man - 0 , but with growing alliances .. aps understands i was being taken advantage of and rebelled . aps is a major ally . staff is feeding my gaunt azz at times . thisll get interesting all at once . aps might not have lied to me , they might really be in the process of seizing guardianship ..

Your welcome freqflyer!

sharynamarie, thanks I went into my account and cleared/reset, keeping my fingers crossed. I don't want to miss anything :)

I have had that problem and notified admin...they corrected it. Check your settings and see if you have a message from admin for an update on your email address.

Hand raised :)

On this website I have it set up that when I answer a post I will get email notification if others are also writing on the same post. For some strange reason it's not working this afternoon. Anyone else running into that?