Memory loss issues aka "You never told me..." My mom has spotty and selective memory loss issues.

Thank you for sharing. J go through the same thing I thought I was the only one. I get so frustrated.

I think there is a big step between discussing something rationally with someone & deciding the action together - and - being the rational one in charge & just organising the bills, maintenance etc as needed.

I am watching one parent trying to reason with the other over such things. His priority is to be respectful, inclusive & reason together - her priorities seem to be to never spend any money, keeping things exactly the same, relying on a faulty memory to remember when things where last repaired & to what has already been discussed & decided on.

That step is a real doosie! What step do you think you & your Mom are on?

Does she have to sign off on bills? Don’t tell her until after it’s done, or at all. Definitely keep a log of it and scan the paperwork the mechanic gives you.

Welcome to the world of dementia! It will only get worse from here on, so you best get used to her memory loss, if you're going to continue to care for her. When dealing with someone with dementia, you have to meet them where they're at, not where you are at. So if she says you didn't tell her such and such, it's just better to go along with it, and have peace instead of trying to argue the point, as you will NEVER win, and only end up being frustrated, as you are discovering. You've got to change your perspective on what your mom is going through. Her brain is now damaged, and she cannot help when she tells you that she doesn't remember, because she honestly doesn't. Perhaps it's time to get yourself educated on dementia, so you can learn how better to deal with your mom. Good luck.

She has dementia, I assume? If so, you cannot cure it and you cannot stop it and it will only become worse. You are her POA and are responsible for taking in the car now, and writing the check.
If you are the "evil child" I doubt she will miss you if you go.
If you stay, it is easiest to remember it is by your own choice.