This is not a one size fits all concept, but one that we use in the professional community I work in. Meet them where they are means, don't think "they should"..."they ought to"," at their age it should be simple to"...
Our parents grew up in an Era where diarrhea killed; women stayed home with children and elders and MEN ruled the world. Things have changed, and for my mother at least, the speed leaves tears in her eyes. A young great nephew "came out"...she happy that he's happy, but oh my, the Church???. A great niece is pregnant (good) but no husband ( the girl makes three times what I do and twice what her father does). The long term boy friend is wonderful, but of a different ethnicity.... oh my.
Life, on a regular day is overwhelming for folks in their 80s or 90s. Throw in some MCI or early dementia, and you've got a total whammy.
Put things in terms they can understand. A maid, a laundress, a housecleaner. Not Home health care. Not an aide. Find out what tasks they need help with, rather than telling "you need help with". Make the help task specific. Give it a shot!