I've wanted to post this subject for a while now. I'm sure the majority of families are very healthy, and secure with what their parents wishes are when they pass away. Most parents assign one of their children as their Executor of their estate when they pass. I'm here to advise that all
Agents think long, and hard before assigning one of your children to oversee your estate when you pass. I know most of you are thinking "I'm not worried one bit. I know my son/daughter. Their fairness & responsibility is beyond reproach. They would never ever do their siblings wrong!" Statistics show you are wrong. What parents fail to consider is the fact that money changes everything, and everyone. I have no legal expertise. I am advising from personal experience, and witnessing many others whose parents estate turned out to be a nightmare due to a sibling being the Exceutor. The rule of thumb is: if a person has a financial interest in your estate they should NOT be the Executor. The higher the stakes, the uglier it becomes. Siblings who are normally caring, compassionate, and fair suddenly find all kinds of reasons to justify their dominance, and home court advantage over a sibling who is also an heir. I have seen families divided, and financial ruin over sibling fighting over their parents estate. If you absolutely do not want anyone but one of your children to be the Executor of your estate then there is one safe guard you can take to prevent resentments, and unfairness. Find a good attorney that you trust, discuss your will in depth, and assign that attorney as the "attorney of record" over your estate. Make this assignment part of your will. This attorney will also know what your wishes are, and will help guide the child/Executor of your estate. Keep them fair, and honest, and prevent disputes, and arguments while being unbiased and fair with all your children equally. Hipefully one day the law will change and make unlawful to assign any person that has a stake in your estate also the Executor. But, until then you can do what you can to make sure your fa I,y stays close, and together AFTER you are gone.

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GA, Statics, I was wondering that myself! I looked around on the Internet and couldn't find any. A lot is written about writing your kid's out of your Will, but no real statistics that I found anyway.

Yes, I completely understand that it can get really dicey amongst dysfunctional families, but Wills are meant to be followed to the letter, and only choose individuals whom you trust will carry out your wishes. Hopefully it's one of your kids, but certainly not always! I half expect my SIL will pull out a many years old Will, when my FIL passes away. My FIL has changed his Will several times that I know of, since he has lived with us for the past 12 years. So I do understand how these things become problematic, but again, his Will will be followed exactly how he intends, and by the Son he intrusted it to be done. She won't be happy, but not my problem. I pray there is no issues!

Captain, sorry your sister is a butthead, but I don't know what I would do without my 3 sisters! They are the best! I got in the happy and mentally healthy line, when I was born! Yippee!

family blows . my oldest sister has been trying to call me for two days . either she wants masonry work done on her church , in which case " i dont care " . or she has a problem with her inherited home falling apart , in which case " i dont care " . or her worthless husband crappied off , " still dont care " . or she needs money , " really dont care " .
if she keeps calling ill probably drop my old flip phone in a mudhole and keep walking .
i just cant stress enough how much " i dont care " ..

"Statistics show you are wrong." Could you provide a link to these statistics? I'd like to see them for myself. It would be an interesting compilation of data to address an issue that for most people is a personal one. I'm wondering what kind of statistics were gathered to reflect individual and collective pleasure or displeasure with handling by adult children of parents' estates.

Many people also simply cannot afford to hire attorneys to manage an estate.

"Hipefully one day the law will change and make unlawful to assign any person that has a stake in your estate also the Executor."

I hope this never happens; it would be an intrusion of a personal and offensive nature for legislators to meddle in the handling of a person's end of life issues and assets.

I'm 1 of 6 children who has lost both of my parents, 14 months apart, and 12 years ago. My eldest daughter was assigned Medical POA, and my eldest brother was assigned Financial POA. Never was a there ever a problem of distribution of their assets, in fact, we all received our inheritance along with a beautiful letter stating how proud he was of all of us for sticking together, working as a team, and seeing to their every need, as well as to each others need, when the going got very rough. I have 4 children, and have assigned my eldest 2 Son's, who are step brother's by the way, to work together to make the post death of my husband and my assets be evenly distributed 4 equal ways, and I see no problems with these two working well together, as they have been brothers since they were 5, and are now 35. I think deciding on your Executor to be a very personal and logical decision, made by yourself or you and your spouse together. I can't imagine the government stepping in to make this decision for me, never! If you raise great honest and trustworthy kids, I see no reason why you wouldn't want them to take care of your Will, to the letter in which you wrote it.

Well, my uncle didn't trust anyone so he made the lawyer his executor. As an heir I am thankful, nobody can play the blame game, but remember executors, even those who aren't lawyers, can draw a salary for their work. Often family members choose to do the work without asking for any pay in addition to their inheritance, you can bet that outsiders will take the maximum legal allowance.

Having an Elder Law Attorney prepare an Revocable Trust is also helpful if there are enough assets that may cause problems later down the road, or are too complex for the average person to deal with.

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