I must admit, I feel rather silly. I've been on these boards recently talking about my loved one, who is my cousin. She has advanced Vascular Dementia mixed with AD. She's in Memory Care and is wheelchair bound. She's still verbal, but doesn't have much to say. She's recently been losing weight, though, she eats well. Most of the time she answers a question, but doesn't have much to say. She normally says she doesn't remember or doesn't know.

I decided to take her lunch yesterday. I normally don't do this, because the facility provides her with tasty and nutritious meals and snacks. I called ahead and cleared it with the staff to being her and her roommate lunch. They thoroughly enjoyed it and told me how thankful they were. I'm going to do this more often.

Later I put up some photos of her favorite idol on her closet door. He's a professional wrestler and she has loved him for many years. We then walked out down the hallway where she noticed a mop and bucket. She said, "You know, while I do love my favorite wrestler, I also think of a lot of them. (She meant the maintenance staff.) Because they are special too." I almost lost it. How can someone with her level of dementia have such INSIGHT! I said, "Yes, they do a very important job" She said, "Yes, they do and they are so nice. They are really good people."

I recall that the man who cleans their floors once made a comment to me about my cousin. He was concerned, because she had been anxious and crying. I told him that I knew and that we were addressing her medication adjustment that should make a big change. (Which it did. She's no longer crying or anxious.) I told him that I appreciated his concern.

We never know where angels are and who may be looking in on us and our loved ones. I just wanted to share my story. It really warmed my heart.

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I appreciate your kind words. It certainly brightened my day.

I am told my cousin is very social, even though she's limited. She doesn't know anyone's name, except hers and mine. She normally can't carry on a conversation anymore, but she can say things like, "She's a good person." Now that she's back on her medication, I haven't heard anything negative.

One of the staff members, who does transport, office work and various other things, has her office on my cousin's wing. She tells me my cousin will wheel herself in and sit and visit with her most every day. My cousin used to work in medical offices, so I guess it seems comforting to her.

Sunnygirl, your cousin has made me smile even here. Thank you for telling us her story and the story about what she said. I have the feeling she is a ray of sunshine in the facility.

Sunny, thanks for sharing that story. I used to work in nursing homes as an electrician doing fix it, service work additions etc. I was always amazed at the kindness people exhibited. I would see the sort of thing you described from the staff , maintenance guys, food service folks and so on. Spending time in those places also affected me greatly. I thought about my star of affairs when elderly an not of sound mind. And I was impressed at how compassionate the workers in these places were, considering the nature of the work and the horrible wages they were paid. It wasn't all peaches and cream, they were usually understaffed and overworked and patients sometimes suffered, but not from a lack of trying on the part of the staff.

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