Love notes from caregivers who have lost someone.

Bringing this back up to the top.....

Shelli,
and others,
Holidays are the times when the memories will be hardest because Mom or Dad are no longer there.
Will you be carrying on traditions, or creating some of your own?

Dear Send,

Thank you for bringing this one back up.

It is definitely a year of new traditions. My grandmother passed in October so its the first year we will not spend Christmas Day with her and my extended family. My aunt has decided to host a gathering on Boxing Day instead.

My mother is now cooking dinner at her house for our immediate family. My new tradition includes going to the cemetery to bring a Christmas plant to my father. I wish it wasn't so, but I guess I have to learn to adapt.

Dear Shelli,

How are you? Everything you wrote really resonated with me. I know its not easy. Please know if you ever need to talk, we are all here.

Take care. Thinking of you.

Hi cdnreader, sendhelp and all,

Wow, this came at just the right time. I was just thinking about this post, but not sure I was quite ready to post. Guess I am (sorta :-)!)

Trying to get into the holiday mood, but it is so hard. I am so thankful that we had last Christmas and New Years to celebrate. My town has really spectacular holiday light display and we got to see that. My mom was not sure that she would get much out of it due to the macular degeneration, but she kept marveling at how beautiful it was.  She kept talking about it.  I truly believe that she was holding on until the holidays were over.  She went into the hospital on January 7 and was gone by the 11th.  

So Christmas is not going to be easy.  I just miss her so much.  There are times when it hurts so bad.  Yes, I get through.  Music is my savior.  Sometimes I need soothing music and sometimes I need something crazy loud!  

Haven't thought about any new traditions, yet.   Will be carrying on with the old traditions.   Thinking about decorations and maybe something special to honor her memory.  Hopefully, weather permitting, we will be able to get the cemetery (it is a bit of a distance, so we have to plan for a good day).  Would like to take something special.  Not sure what, but now there are these pretty solar stakes with angels that light up. 

So guess that is where I am at right now.  Once again, thank you all for being here.  It helps to know that there is a safe place for me to come and let my defenses down and let it all out.   

Merry Christmas to all and take care!

Shelli

Thanksgiving was harder than I expected but at least I remember it, unlike last year's. I am really missing my mother but I am doing things to honor her and her memory is a presence I find is supportive. I talk to her and even if her responses are all "in my head," I am helped by remembering how she spoke, what she would say, how she would look. All of it. It hurts no one and helps me celebrate her while I continue to assimilate my loss.

When my mother died, we found a booklet that she had marked "Funeral" on its cover. Inside were the instructions to what she wanted incorporated in her funeral.

Dear Shelli,

Good to see your post. Thank you for updating us. I have to agree with you, music makes a huge difference. Day by day, moment by moment. We all just do the best we can.

Wishing you a happy holiday season as well. Take care, my friend.