Lost my temper with Mom today - Help!
I'm both looking for advice and venting. I lost my temper with mom today - she wanted to wear a mismatched sweater and dress to the doctor, and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Because I've had some time off work I've been caring for her 24/7 and I knew I was about to lose it for days. My daughter was home for semester break but left yesterday - I didn't want to hire help while she was home but the truth is I am not cut out to be a 24/7 hands on caregiver, and I've been accustomed to time off for work - yes work is like a break from caregiving. Mom has vascular dementia and severe mobility issues, and my transportation fell through so now I'm going to have to load up the wheelchair, etc. She is easier than most here - I don't know how you all do it. I yelled at her when she insisted on her warm but mismatched sweater and threw it across the room. She was horrified and I know I scared her because she is totally dependent on me and told me to put her in a home - she's said that before when she can tell I'm overwhelmed. Then said I was so sorry and she can wear what she wants. Now she is barely speaking to me and said she would wear what I wanted. I apologized again and said I do fine with help 3 days a week. I didn't have the wonderful aide who has the patience of a saint come while my daughter was here because she worries so much about money and would be appalled if she knew how much I'm spending on help with mom, though it's still less than a nursing home. Appreciate any advice and suggestions. What I did is inexcusable - I see why other caregivers lose it. This is so physically and emotionally exhausting. Thanks.