Eight months have passed since my husband died (a myriad of health issues, including two different diagnoses of dementia). Many of you listened to my despair and frustrations, some commiserated and some gave hard advice. His passing was preceded by my dad's death seven months early (I was always sure dad would outlive my husband, but one fall was all it took to change everything), and my mom four years earlier.
The other night, I was cleaning out the storage on my phone and found the many voice recordings I made of conversations with my husband in case I ever needed to have them if I had to get help. Listening to them was a bad move, put me in a tailspin (and I only listened to a few minutes of a several of them). I did not realize until I heard those crazy conversations so many months later just how awful they were -- and how God must have been giving me grace for each moment. It took me two days to shake off the emotions that were revived. Someone from church that I barely know invited me to lunch at her house on Memorial Day. Sitting in her garden, chatting like we were old friends, playing with her dog, it was just what I needed. She later said, "Sometimes the best medicine is flowers, food, and fellowship."
Since my husband died in September, I have traveled to KY to finally see our daughters' homes, traveled to Florida twice, spent a few days at an old friend's home, and have been making progress getting my mom and dad's house cleaned out. My daughter's mil went with me on one trip to the house (five hours away) and was such a big help. I highly advise having someone without any emotional investment go through your parents' stuff with you.
On June 25th, my mom's bedroom set will be delivered to my house. I am replacing the carpet and painting my room to make a whole new space for myself. And we (my sister and I) will then be putting the house on the market.
I know here on the forum we wonder what happened to someone when they just seem to disappear. I wanted to check in, update, and say thank you for the support over the years (even if the words were brutal sometimes, lol) through everything with my mom and dad and husband.
*I know this belongs in Discussions, not Questions, but don't know how to do that. Can someone notify an admin to move it? Thanks.
Thanks for the update. I’m sorry you had that upset with the recordings. You really went through some tough times. Wishing you all the best..it’s always great to hear that there is life after caregiving. 💕