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It seems that there is so much room for creative solutions for living with a spouse (or being able to remain with a spouse) who has dementia. My husband passed away a year ago, but I had to put him in an assisted living facility for two years, after exhausting every possibility for keeping him home. We have LTC so I could afford the $8,000 a mo. live-in, but the agency said we needed a live-in plus a night nurse since he got up and fell all the time, so the total monthly cost would be $18,000. He truly needed 24/7 awake care.


Although I visited him every day for the two years, it was heart-breaking for both of us. Also, the ratio (dictated by state, I think) of caregivers to patients was 1:10 so there were always falls. My husband fell over 30 times in two years. I looked into other countries where I could use my LTC but nothing looked better or affordable. Recently a friend who is a care-giver said facilities are looking into new models for spouses to live together when one has dementia, such as a kind of pod, where the separate cottages are placed around it. You could chose to have your monitor on or off; there would be six cottages and two care-givers. And it would be affordable.


I wish something like this had been available for my husband and me. Anyway, this still bothers me, so if anyone has thoughts or experiences, I'd love to hear about them; I think it would be an excellent subject to research and write about.

I agree that researching aged care models would be a great idea. If you decide to go ahead, contact me again.
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I looked at Abbeyfield; I wish I'd known that. I could have gotten us over to the UK.
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Thank you; I will definitely look into that.
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Check out the Abbeyfield model for aged care. There are options where the 'cottages' aren't fully separate. They face outwards, with a view, but back inwards to a larger common area including kitchen and common room. Abbeyfields are run by not-for-profit organisations, so far as I know. Here not usually a Church, but that might be a useful option to check, as churches have a good infrastructure. Good luck in looking at better models for the USA. It really doesn't sound good.
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