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Last four years he was bed ridden now he walks visit friends and on dialysis but he won't even warm his own food it makes it had for me to even work or travel now he is strong,walks slow but can do he is refusing to do any of ADL and bad mouthing how he lives in a bad situation over the phone and affairs with women he talks highly about my mother and family values even though all his life he had cheated on his marriage I offered him to go back he is refusing to go back home in africa and am finacially straining him all in all he hates my husband been An immigrant he can't get full medical so I buy all his medicine but gets free dialysis.when I bring the topic about anything he says he is about to die anyway and he is going to walk on the street and die,and having young kids its taking toll of my life

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You just call Immigration and resign your sponsorship of him. They will do the rest.
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Now he made it very clear he want live alone and not going back,he has my mum to send him money for around $1000 a month which i know will come with strain for a room/food but I suggest for him a senior living like group homes he said no he needs no surpevision now am doing his will
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Yes,he has two surviving wives and 9 other kids without counting me,one of them was my sister who moved out of state because she could not stand him but no matter what I stood strong by him.And thanks for 800 number it will really help me.
I got him a ride to take him to dialysis since he decided not to talk to my husband who have drove him to n from clinic last 3 yrs.

Who should be the best person to talk to him about going back?he put this way...If you want me to go just pack my stuff and I will stay in the streets and tell the goverment or who ever will ask me I have no place to live so they can help him or wait to die
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Wow. This sounds complicated and difficult. My heart goes out to you.

You petitioned to have your father come to the US. He apparently doesn't/can't work, and he is living with you. Is that right? He is not entitled to various medical benefits and you are supporting him financially, at some strain to you.

He is disrespectful of you when talking to other people, and you find him hypocritical about family values. It isn't pleasant to have him there. He refuses to return to his home country. He expects to be waited on.

Is this a correct summary?

Let me start with just one little piece. Stop waiting on him. Stop warming his food if he can do it himself. Stop doing anything for him that he can do himself. It sounds like his health has improved dramatically. Great! He must take responsibility for his ADLs to the extent that his health allows. If you continue to wait on him, you are just enabling his poor behavior. I don't mean to say never help him or always expect him to be self-sufficient. Just don't do for him what he reasonably can do for himself.

Does he have family back home that he could return to?
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