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Teebee, I am with you.
Even if we believe acting in good faith it can blow up on us...
My mom has be living in my care for 4 years now. Not a single family member has visited her since Easter. When we lived 3000 miles away I understood, but I moved her back close and still no visitors.
If I bring her to them, they do not really engage with her. It is sad. But it also helps me to know that they are in their own process of saying good bye and protecting their hearts. I will begin to make decisions with that knowledge. Kinda allows me to be a little less heroic and a little more pragmatic.
Before my father passed I did talk about "what if" scenarios with my siblings and I recall being adamant that they would not move in with me... I remember even saying my life would end... Well guess what.. we also "pictured" my mother passing before my father... my mother basically is a wonderful person and I love her to death .... but she has this passive- aggressive manipulative side to her... she is with me now over 2 years and I feel like my life has ended sometimes... Yes, she lives with me...
Is it cluttered?
How are the door frames ? Wide enough for the paramedics gurney?
Can the kitchen be locked out of-- if they start cooking in the night? Many homes have open floor plans these days and it is a safety nightmare.
How are the garage and driveway and all the paths of ingress and egress if they start having mobility problems?
How will you bathe them?
Once you do all the math of all the home modifications it takes to let someone to age in place for anywhere from 1 year to 10-- often the math does not work out. $60,000 in remodels-- that the next guy is not interest in-- is $500-$5000 a month towards the next place.
Really consider places that are already laid out and build right, like independent living apartments. Grocery delivery, housekeeping and hair cuts are all worked out.
Move them in there with minimal junk and it will go much better.
You can keep the family homestead with a young adult living there, as you strip it over a few years.