When mom died just a few weeks ago, I died inside. Mom is all I ever cared about my whole life; I love her so much I never moved away so I was with her every single day for 59 years. It's strange Alzheimer's never killed her. She went through liver failure due to liver cancer. She managed to live 90 years of age with 15 years of Alzheimer's. I miss her terribly. But I'm less afraid of living since I already lost everything that ever meant to me. Just mom. I supposed I'll just have to sort through my feelings and just carry on. It was horrible enough getting all the paper work done. Gone back to work...back to university but I still feel very very lonely and abandoned. It's awful facing each day. I wish I knew some magic formula or means to make this grieving easier. I don't like it.
I know I have to accept this, but it's so hard.