Life after the loss of your loved one...

I confess, sometimes I talk to the birds and squirrels.

Yes, I say hello to the birds, squirrels, neighborhood dogs and cats. Just not the ashes of my dead loved ones. But hey, to each his own.

Now here's an interesting fact. I have to have a piece of paper that allows me to transport Mom's ashes to their final resting place, in case I get stopped by the police and they notice the ashes are in the vehicle. Seriously....how ridiculous is that. I'm not even crossing state lines. Same thing happened with Dad - I had to make sure I had this scrap of paper with official writing on it that allowed me to transport my own parent's ashes 600 miles to where we were placing them.

You could mix them in a bag of fertilizer and the cops would never know!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry that was not very tasteful but the erase button would not work

My niece shouldn't have been driving at 14 when she hit the tree and it killed her and her friend....Everyday since,her Mother,my ex SIL talks to her ashes.It's been 20 years now.

Gershun you do to need to apologize for calling the nurse dumb she may have been but at the very least once she saw how you Mom looked she could have waited till the family had said their final goodbyes. There are plenty of dumb and inexperienced nurses around. If you look at their name tags many hospitals put the # of years the nurse has been qualified after the RN. If there are no #s she passed her exams in the past year. RN4 means they have been on the job 4 years. Not every facility does that and many turn over their name tags. Our closest teaching hospital makes them pin them on so they are easily readable.

Luckylu I am afraid you will get experienced in this catheter business
far quicker than you want. At least it is easier than changing wet diapers and paying for them.

The body will unstiffen again quite soon enough. And anyway, what's more important, sensitivity towards relatives in the immediate aftermath of a death or the convenience of funeral directors? I'm sure the nurse meant well but if she couldn't place the denture properly she ought to have put it discreetly away with the patient's effects.

Mind you, I'd have laughed myself sick if that had been me. Macabre humour gets to me like nothing else.

Sensitivity and laughter after the loss of a loved one are "Life after the loss of a loved one". So is being offended by others a part of life. I rarely go to a person to say that I was offended or hurt by what they said, but that is just me.
Thank you, Luckylu, for starting this thread! I really think it is helping others get in touch with their feelings of loss, especially the humor!

No worries, Veronica. I think it's ridiculous in the extreme that I have to have some slip of paper proving that I have the authority to transport my parents' ashes 600 miles to their resting place. Honestly, what are the chances that I'm going to get stopped and my car searched?? I'm not crossing any international or even state borders.

Dad's ashes were transported in a ziploc bag and packed in a small cooler with a locking lid in the back of my van when we took them "home". I guess the cops would have gotten a shock if they opened it, expecting to find food.

I'm sorry Veronica,but I have racked my brain and I don't know why you say I'm going to know all about catheters...................???

Tomorrow, I have to go back to the funeral home where I last saw Mother and her beautiful little face 14 months ago for a first time and see and be with all the same people who were at Mother's service.I'm really dreading it and I have to be strong to help my cousin through it.I'll be so glad when it's over.

(((((hugs))))) luckylu... You're such a trooper. I'll be wishing you well.

Lucky, focus tightly on your cousin and you'll be okay. It'll feel eerie, and sharp at first, but just consciously concentrate on what's going on right now. And if you can, give yourself a private five minutes somewhere to sit and have a little think. Hugs.

Dear Luckylu,

Big hugs. I know it will be tough day. I use to go other people's funeral at the same place we had my dad's service. I never imagined that one day I would have my dad's service there. I'm with you. I haven't had to go back yet, but I too would dread it. Thinking of you. I know you will do the best you can.

Luckylu, After the service, please take some time for yourself.
You are amazing, don't know how you do it all.

Hugs to you luckylu....hang in there.

Dear Luckylu,

How did it go? I hope you are okay. Thinking of you.

I can't Thank You All enough for your kind,loving support.
Only you all "get" how awful today was for me.
I made it but it was miserable all the way through.
Seated with the family.I was on the first isle,front and center.Throughout the service I saw my Mother's casket there and her laying in it but really there were tables with my Aunt's pictures and flowers around them.
In the Family room and after the service,it was like a big party,with laughter and Frank Sinatra playing.
Nothing like my Mom's...
My cousin was holding up well with her 2 grown children beside her.I had a picture and a book I'd wrapped up and I gave it to my cousin and left.
I'm SO glad it's over.
Again,Thank you for caring all~

Dear Luckylu,

Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I know it was hard but I'm glad you made it and were able to support your cousin. Good of you to give her a beautiful book. (((hugs))) Your family is so fortunate to have you and your love and support.

I lost my precious Mother 15 months ago now, Then all 3 of my pets and this past month I lost 2 very loved Aunts and now I have to say goodbye to the kittens I have come to Love so much.64 days of Love invested only to have to let go of them.I wish I didn't Love so deeply,then maybe it wouldn't hurt so much.

Lucky be comforted knowing that you gave the kittens a great start to their life. I know you will miss them but at least you get to keep one right. You are still keeping one of them, aren't you? :)

Yeah Gershun,I'm keeping 2 of them for sure. 2 of them are gong to a farm this weekend with my SIL's coworker and that just leaves 1 to find a home for.It's just hard because I Love them so much and the vet said Bootsie and the other kittens will cry and look for the others for a few days and just hearing Bootsie cry once breaks my heart so I'm really dreading this.These past 64 days have been my happiest days in years and Iv'e learned so much and Iv'e actually played again,laughing and singing,even telling them bedtime stories.I will miss LuLu and Toots very much....Then Moe.They will be 9 weeks old tomarrow.

Lucky if it's any consolation, a vet told me once when we were thinking of taking a trip and boarding the cats, that time is not the same for cats as it is for us. So, if you think about it. A month apart to us seems like forever but not for kitties. So, Bootsie and the other kitties will be fine. Just show them extra love. :)

Count how many happy times you will have left with your remaining pets.
Precious-dog is going to need you to walk her more often just to lose the weight.

That's true Send....I'll have Precious,Odom,Bootsie and 2 kittens for the rest of my/their days and that's all I can afford and handle.It's just hard to let go.We'll get through it somehow.

Dear luckylu,

I know its hard to let go your kittens. Your pets are so lucky to have you. The world needs more people like you. I wish I could clone you.:-) Nothing wrong with loving anything or anyone too much. I know it hurts right now, but like Gershun said you gave them a great start. I hope the new owners will send pictures and updates.

Ad just imagine how happy someone will be to have a new kitten to love Lucky!

Thanks cdnreader and cwillie....You are right,whoever gets them will be getting a huge piece of Love and I have Loved them up since they arrived so they will be very socialized.I will just have to Let Go and Let God and hope they have really good lives at their new homes.Thank you to everyone for all you've said.

Well it finally happened. My father passed away on March 22. The ME said it was a massive event. He was gone before he hit the floor.  My mother found him and called me. I told her to call 911 and I would be right over. I live only 5 minutes away. I got her out of the way in her bedroom and I dealt with the questions from the police and medical people as much as I could before they talked to her.

I worry about her as she is not in the best of health (body failing but mind is still sharp as a tack) however she has surprised me. The problem she was having with her stomach has been clearing up. Her doctor told her that if she felt it was doing better she could cut back on her medicine and she has. I think alot of it was stress from being with him all the time. She is willing to call a ride service to take her places. Since I wanted to make sure she was having a good dinner I would eat with her many times during the past month and as a result I have gained weight.  I do not know that it has really caught up with her yet.  She has been keeping fairly busy doing odds and ends. 

I think I should have stopped to visit the day before on my way home from work but I didn't. I would think that if he asked me to fix his tv one more time I was going to throw it out the window.  Now I feel guilty for thinking that as this was one of the few things he could still do.  Sometimes I wished he would just get it over with and now that it has happened I wish I had never thought it. Don't get me wrong, I loved him completely. I was always his girl and he was daddy to me not father. I have always loved and been completely devoted to both of them.

Now that we have the death certificates and can complete the transactions. How do I get out of this funk. I feel like I am getting no where getting even some small portion of my life back.

Thank you