Life after the loss of your loved one...

Lucky, the deaths seems to come in waves, don't they? When my mom passed last June it seems there were at least ten others within a couple of months. It seems we are in the midst of another wave. And mountainmoose just lost her mom a couple of weeks ago. There is another one of two that slip my mind now.

We did love our parents So much and now two more wonderful children on here have lost their fine folks...GardenArtist and Windyridge.2 great caregivers.
God be with them ~

Dear luckylu,

Sending you love and hugs, my friend. I know every mother would wish to have such a devoted and loving daughter as you. Sorry to hear about your back and broken ribs. And you are doing your best to during the holidays to honor your mom's memory. Thinking of you.

This was my second Christmas without my dad. It still feels very strange. I don't know if it will ever get easier. We loved our parents so much.

Lu, thinking of you. This was my first Christmas without mom. I did some cooking that mom always did when she was younger. Brought back some pleasant memories of her.

(((((Hugs))))) Lu. Tough holiday for you, and birthday. Thinking of you.

Lu,
No one can replace your Mom at all, ever! And tomorrow is your birthday, when you lost her. Planned her funeral. That was only two years ago! Such a short time.....and you have been in so much pain!
If you want to talk about your Christmas breakfast, who came, what you served, you can tell us!
If you want to tell us about your Mom, tell us.

This is your life today, and it's still looking very painful for you every day.

Tell us, let us love and support you through your tears. It is never too late to cry it out, and make a plan for next year too!

Lu,
Have you ever seen the movie Shirley Valentine?

Celebrate your birthday with a manicure 💅🏼

Thanks Golden...It would be great to do something different next year,IF the family would cooperate.

Just (((((((hugs))))))) lu. Good idea to plan something different next year.

That would be a dream come true cwille~

I wish so bad that Mom was here to talk to today about yesterday,Christmas,who was there,who wore what,what was said....We always discussed it all afterwards,I miss that so much.She was my secret keeper.

((hugs)) luckylu, I've been thinking of you. Maybe next year a plan a nice christmas cruise?

While I know I am very blessed to have a roof over my head and food to eat,this Christmas was so rough and I am only glad it is over.It took Everything I had in me,day after day,task after task,in pain with my back and broken ribs,thanks to a fall on December 7th and it all has been So hard without my Mother,my sidekick and best friend.I missed her so much putting up the tree,cooking,and especially the shopping.We always went Everywhere together.Then I had Christmas at my house for the first time since Mom left.I hung her stocking,tucked in some notes and a marshmellow Santa.I made and served the Christmas morning breakfast on Mother's Santa plates.I did everything alone.Last year was hard,but this one was hell.Tonight,2 years ago(730) days,Mother was dying and at 2:53 in the morning,I lost her,on my birthday. I'll be glad when tomarrow is over too.

Dear Send,

Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot. Sorry, I did not respond sooner. Thank you for always thinking of me.

I do miss those family moments with my dad. This year I went out for dinner instead with my sister, her boyfriend and son at a restaurant. I just couldn't bring myself to prepare a meal at home. It just wouldn't be right without my dad. He was the one that always got the turkey ready and made the mash potatoes.

Thank you again for all your kindness. I'm very grateful! With love and hugs.

CDNreader,
Thinking that I saw you post again this past week, but did not say hello. I know the Thanksgiving in Canada is in October, hoping you got through that okay after the loss of your father. More holidays, more people getting together. Wishing you joy, whatever you can find in this season of celebration. Maybe celebrate the bitter-sweet good things about your Dad that you can remember.
Thinking of you. You are still missed on the forum.

Dear Luckylu,

Thank you for sharing your mom and dad with us. I'm so sorry my friend. I know how much you loved them both. It is hard to know that your mom passed on your birthday. Did I ever tell you, I am the same age my dad was when I was born, the same age when he passed. I wonder if that mirror is suppose to mean something? Or if I am supposed to give it meaning.

I had stopped posting for about a month, but decided to come back for a little bit. Father's Day was especially hard. I had to go to the cemetery alone to see him. None of my siblings offered to do anything to mark the occasion with me.

I am so grateful to you for starting this thread and for sharing your self with us. Take care my friend. I think of you often.

Mother was always SO thrilled that she had the 3 of her children born Christmas week and she called us her "Christmas babies" and we even made the newspaper about it one time.At her funeral,there were audible gasps when the Minister announced she died on my Birthday I'll never forget.I'm sure it was the last thing she'd have wanted to happen.It still hurts.

It hurts so much that Dad is gone and it's Father's Day.I couldn't have had a kinder or funnier Dad.He was something else and I really pray I get to see and be with him again someday.He left way too young,at 65,so it's my 25th Father's Day without Dad and it still hurts.

first father's day without him.....

nods.... and then a couple days go by and I am fine- I think it is just that I never have any time alone to let out feelings

Mica: I thought I'd be back to my old self at 1 year. Not so much. Be patient with yourself. Someone on here said, "grief is not linear." How true.

bf drove me to see dads stone with the flags (Memorial Day)
I brought a patriotic Pinwheel... and held in the torrent of tears that wanted to burst forth and to lay on the ground and bawl. But i didnt because bf was there to "Pay his respects" . Everything is hard these days, i cannot file papers, cannot see any pictures, a flag sets me off - its been a year and instead of getting easier it is getting harder

cdnreader, Thank you for your kind words. I have been so tied up in trying to help complete things that I had not thought about support. I will see what I can find.

micalost - I am sorry for your loss. We are so similar. My dad is buried in the Vet's cemetery located an hour away in another city. We have not been able to visit because of the weather. They should have placed the headstone by now, since it has been more than a month. We had quite the surprise when they finished showing honors and we met with the cemetery manager to verify information for the headstone. I am honored to say that it will read World War II, Korea and Vietnam! He was active Navy during WWII. During Korea and Vietnam he was Naval Reserves therefore it is called service during a time of war.

my bf drove me to my dad's place and stone at the Vet's cemetery.
It was VERY strange to see his name on there in public for all to see.... i still cannot accept - i cannt even type it. At least the stone read "Our Hero - Adventurer "

Dear CatLadyNM,

My deepest condolences and sympathies on the passing of your daddy. I'm so sorry for your loss. Even though we know our parents are getting older, I don't think we know how we will feel till that moment. Its a terrible shock. Normal and natural to feel as you do since its only been a month and half since your dad's passing. Six months later I still feel very disoriented. I am crying tonight over my daddy again. Till thinking I could have done something different to save him.

And I think the stress of worrying about your mom is also not easy. Have you considered talking to a counselor or joining a support group? There are so many programs for grievers in the community and through the church. Thinking of you.

Well it finally happened. My father passed away on March 22. The ME said it was a massive event. He was gone before he hit the floor.  My mother found him and called me. I told her to call 911 and I would be right over. I live only 5 minutes away. I got her out of the way in her bedroom and I dealt with the questions from the police and medical people as much as I could before they talked to her.

I worry about her as she is not in the best of health (body failing but mind is still sharp as a tack) however she has surprised me. The problem she was having with her stomach has been clearing up. Her doctor told her that if she felt it was doing better she could cut back on her medicine and she has. I think alot of it was stress from being with him all the time. She is willing to call a ride service to take her places. Since I wanted to make sure she was having a good dinner I would eat with her many times during the past month and as a result I have gained weight.  I do not know that it has really caught up with her yet.  She has been keeping fairly busy doing odds and ends. 

I think I should have stopped to visit the day before on my way home from work but I didn't. I would think that if he asked me to fix his tv one more time I was going to throw it out the window.  Now I feel guilty for thinking that as this was one of the few things he could still do.  Sometimes I wished he would just get it over with and now that it has happened I wish I had never thought it. Don't get me wrong, I loved him completely. I was always his girl and he was daddy to me not father. I have always loved and been completely devoted to both of them.

Now that we have the death certificates and can complete the transactions. How do I get out of this funk. I feel like I am getting no where getting even some small portion of my life back.

Thank you

Thanks cdnreader and cwillie....You are right,whoever gets them will be getting a huge piece of Love and I have Loved them up since they arrived so they will be very socialized.I will just have to Let Go and Let God and hope they have really good lives at their new homes.Thank you to everyone for all you've said.

Ad just imagine how happy someone will be to have a new kitten to love Lucky!

Dear luckylu,

I know its hard to let go your kittens. Your pets are so lucky to have you. The world needs more people like you. I wish I could clone you.:-) Nothing wrong with loving anything or anyone too much. I know it hurts right now, but like Gershun said you gave them a great start. I hope the new owners will send pictures and updates.

That's true Send....I'll have Precious,Odom,Bootsie and 2 kittens for the rest of my/their days and that's all I can afford and handle.It's just hard to let go.We'll get through it somehow.

Count how many happy times you will have left with your remaining pets.
Precious-dog is going to need you to walk her more often just to lose the weight.