Let's talk incontinence.

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Facilities will tell you that incontinent is a few drops. I say its when you don't have feeling or control.

Mom is 93 and has feeling and control, bowel and bladder. If she is toileted before and after meals, she is largely clean and dry. When it goes longer, she is not. Facility likes to say she is incontinent, but she became that way when she was dependent on staff to toilet on their timing, and it often goes too long, she waits, or is left alone too long because she is quiet in room and no one is interacting with her. Not using a call light, so she cannot ask. She has dementia of some sort, but I say she is continent if she is attended to properly. This is a problem I have not yet ironed out with management. Individual CNA's toilet her properly and she remains dry.


It is a reality in any facility that morning, evening and mealtimes are the busiest times for staff. Even at a ratio of one to five (ha, I don't think any have that) it would be nearly impossible to toilet everyone at those times, and unfortunately that is when most people have the need to go.
I'd discuss it with the facility. It's my understanding that in MC where my LO is residing, they place the resident on the toilet at regular times of the day. They also change and clean them if needed. My LO grew incontinent quite quickly, not even realizing that she was going in her chair. Still, they place her on the toilet on a regular schedule, hoping she will go. Maybe, the facility where your LO is does not have the staff/resident ratio to attend to them that way. Is it a NH or regular AL?
By assisted living standards, she is incontinent because she cannot toilet independently. Independently means knowing when to go in addition to getting up and going.

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