I am 63. My mom is 93. My dad lived to be 85.
I have no idea what age I would like to live to. Many thoughts run through my mind.
We adopted our first daughter at 33. I had a child at 40. I had fertility issues, then SURPRISE! We had another child. I was overjoyed. I like to say that we had one miracle through adoption, then one home grown miracle.
Many of my friends have grandchildren. I don’t. Oldest daughter is 30, single. Youngest daughter is 23, single. I don’t want them to get married or have kids just for me. I don’t believe in pressuring kids to do that. They deserve to live their life as they choose. I would adore grandchildren if it happens though. So, I guess I would like to live long enough for that if and when it happens.
Sometimes I think about will there be any time left for me after my mom dies?
Also, when I watch mom suffering with Parkinson’s I get really afraid and would rather die before that may happen.
I would like to be a happy, content old person with wisdom! Not a negative, miserable, foolish person. I would like to be grateful for any blessings in my life.
I don’t want to be a burden to my children or anyone else. I fear that the most. I fear losing control over my life. I am terrified of ALZ or dementia. I fear a horrible NH. Assisted living would be fine with me.
I have a low tolerance for pain so I hope that I can accept any discomfort with grace. I hope I don’t become grouchy or irritable. I hope I won’t become as impatient as some older people are, including my mom. In all fairness, maybe that is because they feel time is running out so quickly!
I hope I won’t be an elderly old woman who constantly says, “God willing!”
I hope I can travel some. Tell funny stories, remember beautiful times in my life, appreciate everyone around me, especially family.
I adore my husband, even after 40 years! I have no idea if I would want to outlive him. Yet, I would like to be there for him in his final hour. That’s a tough one, very tough.
Thanks for listening to me ramble on.