I'm new to this caring for my 73 year old father. Honestly not by choice, as I have chronic neurological head pain disorders, 4 children and we homeschool. At least ok m happily married and my husbands awesome. It's a long story, aren't they all LOL, but I took him in after my oldest alcoholic sister got my father who WAS a recovering alcoholic then relapsed in her career all the time...she just kicked him out , in the rain. Really! He has severe degenerative eyesight from lifetime of drinking. Beginning of dementia , or Alzheimer s, I don't know.
He's just not right. Has never been there for my 4 older sisters and I, now I'm taking care of him. He's living with us now, but I don't know if I should try and and get him his own place. Or if he can even handle it or afford it. He will end up drinking himself to death and gambling all his $. He's an old race horseman and wants to live next to the race track. It's 20 miles from me and it would be betterif he could get an apt close to me where I would be willing to pop in a few times a day , bring him over for dinner etc. I'm just overwhelmed and venting. To top it off, I've got a 4 no old baby latched on me all the time, my oldest and I have the flu, dad just had surgery to take cysts off his back which will be sent out for biopsy. Oh and my dog had seizures this morning. Ha! Oh boy God sure thinks I can handle a lot I guess!😨 I'm just confused. Don't know where to begin getting all the needed power over him etc. I know he's best with my familyand I compared to other sisters, that's for sure. We are stable, loving and not alcoholics or anything like that . I guess one day at a time? Blessings to you all and strength is needed for this journey, I'm sorry so long.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Thank you Blannie and JessieBelle, I am so happy th o have reached out and found this group. I have clicked around a little and see such a wealth of information from so many! I really appreciate uhh your support. It's been a rough week /weekend and I know I will hit a wall health wise myself, soon. He has never been in the military. But he does receive SS from Canada and USA. He gets @$1,500/mo but is anxious to spend on gambling or booze, or his old racehorse whose well taken care of back in California. He has it in his head he will get the horse and old truck and trailer to drive again. Ahh no, he's Pretty visually impaired from alcohol. It's just sad to let go of his old life. Makes me sad for him. He gets upset because he can t remember anything or see.

You definitely did take on a handful. Getting him into an apartment close to you sounds ideal. You already have so much to handle. I would also see if I could get him involved with AA and some adults his age. He might be able to find these adults if you pick out a good senior apartment for him.

Your sister and he must have had a real blow up. It's hard to imagine anyone turning their parent out, although many of us have probably felt that way. I am glad you were there for him. You seem to have his best interest at heart. Since you have children, though, it would probably be better if he lived near you, instead of with you. Much luck!

Wow, you've got your hands full. I think the first step, which you realize, is to get Powers of Attorney (POA) for both healthcare and property for your dad. That will give you the opportunity to act on his behalf.

Was he ever in the military? If so, check out possible VA benefits. If not, see if you can get him his own place in a structured environment, not living on his own where he can drink himself to death near a racetrack.

He definitely sounds like too much to handle by yourself, with all of the family needs you have. So call in some reinforcements through community agencies. Start with your local Area Agency on Aging to find out what services are available. I'm sure you'll get other good advice here. Please vent away and keep us posted.

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter