I have been caring for my Mom for over 2 1/2 years in my home. She has cancer, which is in remission, but is weak with aches and pains all over. I have waited on her, literally, hand and foot. I work from my home office most of the time. So being here, she thinks she can talk to me all day about meaningless things.
She was a good mother but lived her life through me. I am exhausted with the guilt trips she has put on me for 59 years. I have changed my lifestyle drastically to have her in my home. And she too uses that "I took care of you...now you take care of me." I am an only child and have absolutely no help with her.
Last week, she pushed my last button and this time when she said she just needed to go back to her house, I said OK. I guess I called her bluff because I normally tell her she can't take care of herself. So I packed her up and took her home....just about 3 miles from me.
Now, when I talk to her, she is crying and saying she's depressed. Says she doesn't think she can clean her house.....big understatement. She has been a hoarder for as long as I can remember. Her house is disgusting. Over the last 2 years, I have gone over there on weekends and just started throwing things away. Now, after going from my clean house to her nasty house, she says she is depressed and just cries and cries. It would take me no less than a year to go through all the mess in her house. She absolutely can't do it and I don't have time to do it.
Ok, bottom line....She has no money to go to a nursing home without me paying around $2,300 a month. She owns too much property to qualify for her Medicare to pay. I am exhausted, disgusted and just DONE! Am I being a bad daughter? I don't think I will ever be free from her guilt trips! She is just a person that is never satisfied, harshly critical, gossiper, and it's all about her. I feel sorry for her and don't think she can change. Therefore, I just can't continue. Since she's been with me, I have gotten her health better and mine is going down...am now on BP meds and 2 chill pills.
Any advice or words of wisdom?