Just need to vent I guess...

The ALF where my mother lives accepts pets, and the staff walk the dogs and do all sorts of things for them. If a Memory Care ALF is agreeing to accept your mother's cats, they are also agreeing to care for them, as they fully realize she is unable to do so properly. There is probably a fee involved, which is well worth paying if your mother is that enamored of her cats. If your mother obsesses over her cats and whether they're fed or not, it makes no real difference. Because with dementia, they tend to obsess about all sorts of things ANYWAY, so let it be the cats. That's as good a thing as any, right?

I wouldn't worry about the cats if I were you. If they become an issue, the AL will let you know and you can cross that bridge if/when you get there. In the meantime, your mother gets to keep her beloved friends so it's all good. None of what's happening here is 'ideal' by any stretch of the imagination, since dementia is such a rotten thing to be saddled with. Anything that can be done to ease your mother's transition into the ALF is a good thing!

Wishing you the best of luck!

This is tough. Our animals are like family to us but I agree with you that they are a huge responsibility and your first priority is your mom’s care.

See how it goes with the cats for a limited time frame then I second the idea of finding new homes for them.

Best wishes to you and your mom.

I like the gradual rehoming of the kitties idea. There are companies that can create a stuffed replica of your pets. You might consider replacing the live kitty with a stuffed replica. As she declines, she may not notice. You might also see if her home has a pet therapy program.

How about allowing the cats to spend a few days per week with a close relative or friend and maybe they will be able to take the cats to your mom for a visit in-between time. I feel bad for your mom, she loves her cats, wish there was another solution without endangering the animals. Perhaps a cat sitter who can visit, feed them and make sure they are taken care of.

cwillie, I think your advice is quite reasonable. Very sad, but need to have responsible people caring for the animals. Very sad for the mother.

I'm probably going to get panned for this but I think that you should work on rehoming the kitties one at a time, as much for their sake as for the ease of caring for your mother. People with dementia can not be trusted to remember to properly care for their pets and although there may be a few pet lovers working at the AL there is bound to be resentment from others who feel it is outside of their responsibilities. Things can get pretty nasty in her room if nobody is consistently cleaning up messes, and feelings of resentment and animosity toward the cats will often trickle down to the same feelings toward your mother (and you).