Just need to vent...

Follow
Share

My sister hounded my mother into signing her house over to her, and Mom gets to live in it until she dies. My sister and her husband have a home with a mortgage a few blocks from my Mother’s house. In exchange, my sister will take her to all of her appointments, for groceries, etc. Well, of course, now my sister never shows her face. Mom leaves messages on her voicemail, but my sister doesn’t even call her back. They all live in Ohio and I live in Florida. My sister has always been a difficult narcissist person. I could scream.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
11

Comments

Show:
Hello Becky T, has your mother been reaching out to you since your sister is avoiding her messages? I can certainly sympathize with the narcissistic sister, as I have one, too. I wonder who's been helping your mom with grocery shopping and appointments, etc. since your sister is avoiding contact with her. Have you tried contacting your sister to see what's going on? Hopefully there hasn't been some family emergency or something. If not, why is she avoiding your mom? Do you have any other family members in Ohio that could reach out to your mom to check on her, etc.?
(0)
Report

If your Mother is not in her right mind, and you can prove that your sister is just taking advantage of her. Then you should contact Adult protective services. On aging & Disability. I have a Brother that did the same thing to my Mother. Now he is a Felon
(0)
Report

Since you live far away, you don't really know what goes on. However you can get a copy of the deed from the courthouse and have an attorney look it over. I always thought a deed of gift could be rescinded anytime the owner (your mom) decided she wanted to make a change. But it doesn't matter what I think. What matters is what the deed says and what the law is.
But of course the most important thing is what does your mom do now that she needs help. Her primary asset I assume is her home. If she needs it to pay for her care, then she can sell it. Who is getting your moms groceries? Who is taking her for appointments? Check you facts before you make decisions about what is going on. Sometimes at 97, never means since yesterday. At 97 someone has been getting groceries and seeing to things. No doubt you need to lay eyes on mom to see what is going on. Sooner the better.Let us know what you find out.
(0)
Report

You may want to check your county clerk and recorder website. Some counties have all documents that have been recorded available online. The assessor records and mapping would show the home ownership.
(0)
Report

Thanks for all of your comments. I will have to get more details and see what I can find out.
(0)
Report

How long ago was the house transferred? That could cause very many Medicaid problems.
(0)
Report

Becky the house transfer to sister will cause a Medicaid transfer penalty if it occurred in the last 5 years. A life estate is only a part kept by mom, but the rest could be called gifting to your sister. Consult an attorney now before it is a problem.
(1)
Report

No, Mom didn’t get anything in writing that my sister would help with her care. She is 97 and still lives alone, but probably shouldn’t. The biggest problem is she’s lonely, since my sister doesn’t come over or answer her phone. I think she probably also feels betrayed.

Mom has Medicare and private pay, as a minister’s wife. She would qualify for Medicaid if she had to go to a NH, since Dad’s social security is her only income.

I think Mom thinks I’m a safe one to talk to since I live so far away. I think she feels overwhelmed. I feel bad for her and I imagine my sister will have terrible karma, fingers crossed.
(0)
Report

Wow, your sister got a (suspiciously) good deal! All I got was an old car (although with low mileage) in exchange for being my mother's taxi service.

I echo Countrymouse's question....what does your mother expect you to do about it? Surely you aren't going to pay for your mother's transportation, are you?

I bet your sister got nothing in writing about her duties regarding driving in exchange for signing the title of the house over to her. What happens if your mother needs more care? Does she have any money for that care?
(1)
Report

Oh dear. Poor mother.

What does she expect you to do about it?
(1)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Related
Questions