Follow
Share

Dementia's a witch.

Ugh. Every few weeks she goes into the spare bedroom and notices things her daughter moved just before I moved in, as well as an item she told me I could keep in there (spare folded dog crate) and every few weeks I remind her that her daughter moved those things while she was in the hospital and she had told me to put the crate there.

And then it's fine for a few weeks... 'till she forgets and finds it all again.

This morning she got me up at 4:50 because of the things that were there, then proceeded to call daughter eight times about it, and about how I'm lying to her, etc. She started a new med last week and it has made her very very mean, so that didn't really help my case.

She fired me. The daughter doesn't support this decision, but doesn't have much of a say.

I worry about the woman I was caring for.

We agreed at the outset that if either of us wanted to terminate the agreement, the other would have 30 days' notice. I think I've negotiated a little more time for myself to move on, but am still stressed out.

The Challenges:
- I have two 55-lb dogs and need to find somewhere that will take them.
- I have no car and won't have a license for at least a few more weeks. Gotta learn to parallel park...
- I haven't a lot of money.
- I really want to stay near my church.

The Blessings:
- I am a super graphic designer and illustrator. I can probably set myself up making a living wage within a few months, as long as I find a place to live with good internet and electricity.
- I have a B.A. and some graduate schooling. (This might be better filed under "challenges" as it's a pre-Ministry program, the grad schooling is some seminary, and I owe a hefty amount on this schooling!)
- I have never lived, as a child or adult, without some level of abuse and hope and pray this is my opportunity to change that.
- This living arrangement was toxic for me. I was off 1.5 days a week (not adjacent) got very little sleep, got yelled a lot, and struggled with some pretty serious depression through bits of it.

I'm not entirely sure what I'm looking for in posting this. Things I haven't thought of? Things to consider?

I will have worked for her for 21-22 weeks when our arrangement terminates. I don't know a lot about unemployment benefits. Might that be an option for me to help me get/stay on my feet?

Also was really not sure what sub-forum to place this in. Apologies.

Thanks, JoAnn. Her children also think she needs more help than she's about to have. Sometimes she's okay. And then there's stuff like this.

Since I'm there 'round the clock, she likes to wake me 'round the clock. It's been a very sleep-deprived time!

I still feel bad, like I let her family down. They reassure me that I didn't.

I worry about my patient being alone.
(0)
Report

You were dealing with someone's whose brain is broke. I think the woman needs to be in a Memory Care unit. Good luck in finding a new job and place to live.
(2)
Report

To answer all your questions.

I was paid via personal check weekly. I figured I'd get to deal with the ensuing mess when tax time arrives.

I won't accept a reversal of the firing. More doors have opened than closed. I'm pretty paranoid about my dogs' care and am even bringing them on vacation this year because I'm... paranoid. I'm so relaxed about just about everything, except my animals.

My pastor knows. I know he'll be as helpful as he can be.


Also my second graf, lest I was unclear about the conflict, should've read: "Ugh. Every few weeks she goes into the spare bedroom and notices things her daughter moved just before I moved in, as well as an item she told me I could keep in there (spare folded dog crate) and every few weeks she accuses me of moving them and every few weeks I remind her that her daughter moved those things while she was in the hospital and she had told me to put the crate there."
(0)
Report

Andorra, here is information on unemployment: https://workforcesecurity.doleta.gov/unemploy/uifactsheet.asp
(1)
Report

Be sure not to accept a reversal of your employer's firing you, and move on after the 30 days.
Negotiate 2 wks pay in lieu of notice if you can leave earlier.

Contact your church for an immediate room rental, house share.

My two dogs were boarded for 30 days before escrow closed on my condo, way back when.
I hope you can find help from church, perhaps a foster home temporary so you can keep your dog's.
(2)
Report

Did your employer withhold all applicable taxes or were you paid "under the table"?
(3)
Report