Follow
Share

This forum is such good therapy!


Quick background. My SIL and her sister recently inherited a gorgeous home that needs some repairs, and in particular, a total landscaping rehab. SIL's mom was a master gardener, but has been gone five years and couldn't work on her gardens for a few years before she passed. The goal at this time is to remove or relocate many of the plants, and install grass and a pool. Over the winter the repairs to the actual home will take place. All in preparation to Air BnB the place. Based on location, the income would be substantial, so it makes sense to do this instead of just sell it. There are funds in the estate to accomplish this.


I have a dear friend who has extensive landscape and plant knowledge. She has a master's in landscape architecture. She currently lives on the opposite coast, but is willing to relocate for a few months with her young daughter and do the work. She and her husband are separating and the distance will be good for all involved. Hiring her to do the work will easily save $15,000 over hiring a local company.


Friend is coming from CA to NY. At this time, it is required that she quarantine for 14 days upon arrival. At a big estate in the middle of nowhere, where she will be working on site, this isn't a big deal. My family lives very close by and can assist her with anything she might need during quarantine.


My mother called yesterday with the doom and gloom prediction that this is a very bad idea. Any form of travel triggers her anxiety. She insists that "quarantine" means that my friend and her daughter will be taken directly off the plane and taken to an undisclosed location, and we will not see or hear from them for 14 days. Basically arrested and held against their will. I tried explaining that's not what quarantine means. There are no huge "holding cells". She would not believe me, and pulled out the tired old "you have an answer for everything. You think you know it all. It was on the news"! "They are doing it right here in my county. They kept a family of eight from out of state quarantined and then made them leave". I asked her where? Who paid for that? Never mind we are not under martial law, and at least at this time, US residents cannot be held against their will unless they have committed a crime.


It's the disease talking. No arguing with a dementia patient. What pushed me over the edge was once again being told that I think I know everything and am stupid. I am far from stupid, but not in my mom's eyes. Disagree with her? You're stupid. This isn't the dementia talking. It's been this way my whole life.


To add insult to injury, I just learned last week that my father did not die the way I thought he did in 1975. I was 10 at the time, but to find out at age 55 that no one thought I needed to ever know the truth is beyond hurtful. My younger brother told me. He had no idea I didn't know the truth.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
I misread I think. The person that owned the house has passed? What does mom have to do with this potential project? Is mom a beneficiary as well?
(0)
Report

https://www.longislandpress.com/2018/08/07/short-term-rental-rules-on-the-rise-across-long-island/

Sounds like there are wdditional rules in some towns.
(1)
Report

GA is right. Contact the zoning office in your jurisdiction. A air bnb in many locations will require land use permitting. It is not an apartment it is a home being rented on a term basis. Check with the building department modifications may be required because of the improvements and everything in the house may be required to be brought up to code.

Taxes could increase substantially. Now it is a residence, but about to become commercial.

What about the needs for care by your mom? You plan on using mom's money for the repairs and renovation. Does she have a stock pile of liquid assets somewhere to pay for her care? Who will this work benefit? Mom's assets must benefit mom. The house is not part of an inheritance yet, not yours or anyone elses to do with as they want, mom has to pass away first.

It would be a good idea for you and others to consult with an elder law attorney before you go any further with planning. And an accountant to look at what actual costs will be in the long run. Of course talk to the assessor, zoning and building departments before you do anything. Nothing like spending mom's money, alot of it, to be shut down because zoning code has been violated.

See this story from the Denver area
https://www.denverpost.com/2019/06/11/denver-short-term-rental-airbnb-arrest/

Similar is happening all over the country.

Here from nassau county:
https://community.withairbnb.com/t5/Hosting/New-York-State-30-Day-Rental-Minimum-amp-enforcement/td-p/129204

https://www.airbnb.com/help/article/868/new-york-ny
(1)
Report

Could be a bad idea to hire a friend. Don’t mix business with friends or family. Often it is asking for trouble.
(2)
Report

I am with Tothill here. The post is not really about her SIL, that was just some background, its about OPs mother and Dementia and not being told how Dad really died. She is just venting.

Like Tothill, I think Mom didn't need to know about friend flying in to help SIL. I am assuming that SIL is also Moms DIL thats why she is privy to info. I think you may have just found out that, like a child, you and others will need to be careful what you say around Mom. She is really not able to process what is being said. So what she can't comprehend she fills in. Like...she is getting Covid guarantee mixed up with the illegal Mexican's being detained?
(0)
Report

I think that is a great idea.
What a blessing for all involved. It sounds like she will be expanding her daughters horizons while dealing with the loss of the family unit. Awesome!

My hubby saved us 12k on the drip system alone. So I know how expensive landscaping can be and forget about paying for changes, needed or decided they break the budget.

I hope that everyone has a wonderful summer.

I would however tell your sister in law and her sister to check on the liability insurance for a pool under these plans. I know that it is cost prohibitive in AZ to insure a pool under a BNB situation. It is well worth knowing what they are looking at before they spend the money. Unless there is someone living in the house and there is a locking, 6 foot fence around the pool and....

I have a friend in ID that had to fill their pool in before they rented the house, they couldn't justify the added expense of the insurance.

You could always tell your mom that you know where they take people for quarantine, a giant dungeon and chain them to the wall 6 feet apart and use sling shots to send food and drink in 3xs daily. So it is all okay, you know where to pick them up after quarantine. 😋
(5)
Report

I am not going to get into the discussion about the friend and landscaping. But why on earth did you talk to your mother about the project at all?

You know who she is, you know she will shoot down anything you say, what tell her about the idea in the first place?

I have a father who does not believe a woman, particularly me, can know anything about anything. So whenever I suggest anything at all I am shot down. I have a mother who feels she has to know everything about everyone else and give her 2 cents.

I do my best to not share anything with either of them.

Recently I have had to take on organizing repairs and maintenance on Dad's place. Up until last year he harrumphed if I suggested a repair. This year he is finally allowing me to do needed repairs, but at my expense.

The property is in a Trust, Dad is Trustee and legally responsible for repairs and maintenance, but is incapable of handing the process of having repairs done. I do not like paying out of my own pocket, but as I will inherit with my brother, (don't get me started on getting him to do anything) it is worth my while.
(2)
Report

FloridaDD if you price out landscapers in Long Island and had an idea of the scope of the job, you'd know that 15K is pretty accurate.

My friend is very experienced and reliable. She knows what she is doing and most of her work experience is in this part of the country. My SIL and her sister are not prima donnas or control freaks. Chill out. It's under control.
(0)
Report

I really doubt your friend can save them 15K on just the landscaping.   Are you prepared for your friendship to tank if this goes south?
(0)
Report

You don't need to be zoned commercial to rent out a personal residence. If that were true, no apartments could exist in residential neighborhoods. Anybody can Air BnB their house.
(1)
Report

Plane. They aren't driving across the country.
(0)
Report

I guess you don't trust your relatives. Someone local would cost many thousands of dollars more. What about a master's in LA and 20 years landscaping experience would you not trust? I wouldn't suggest anyone who I didn't know for certain could handle the job.
(0)
Report

The only heirs are my SIL and her sister. They are both in agreement as to what is being done.

My friend is not doing anything with the pool installation. That's a completely different project, as are the house repairs.
(0)
Report

Just read FloridaDD's post. I'm unsure now WHO will be handling the conversion?  You?   SIL?   Have you discussed contracts or is this a verbal agreement?  

Are their other heirs?  Or has title transferred to SIL and her sister?

Who's Personal Representative of the Estate?   If not the SIL, you have some legal issues to address first, even if your SIL feels the funds could be used for this renovation. 

There are some serious legal issues that could arise during a renovation to property.  Don't forget you'll need excavation and pool installation companies, as well as electrical and water hookups.

Relandscaping is the easy and fun part.
(4)
Report

Are the landscapers coming by car or airplane?  

As to the project itself, before they make any further plans, I would think they need to get approval to change the classification of the building from residential to commercial, and also inquire about whether zoning laws would even provide for commercializing the property.  

They might not get past the planning stage, and knowledge of that would address your mother's concerns.
(1)
Report

If my SIL were trying to get me to hire her friend, I would pass on it.  I would want someone local.
(0)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter