Follow
Share

This thought popped up in my head while posting to a question.


"I'm here to help people find a way, not be the way"


As I have said before. I worked as a secretary for a Visiting Nurse Assoc. Part of my duties was finding services for our clients and residents of the Township. I had a table set up with booklets from County resources. Food closets in the area. Assisted Livings and homecare agencies in the area. I was in charge of our Durable equipment rentals and helped distribute food thru our Food closet. I liked helping. I liked giving that foot up. But I disliked those who abuse the system. That think I should do everything to get what they need. No, sorry, I point you in right direction and you go from there. And if I do go the extra mile, you better follow thru because I will not help you again.


There are people that will just allow you to take the reins and do everything for them. But you're disabling them. And you end up feeling resentful and I so hate that feeling.


You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink and you can't drink the water for them.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

4 Comments

Newest
First Oldest
First
Excellent post!

Many new posters can be redirected to this as a starter idea.

Speaking of horses & water... wonder how my dehydrated family members are today
🐎
💧
😉
(0)
Report
As my grandma always said, "God helps those who help themselves".

Understand that depression can make one feel completly helpless and hopeless. But if you feel that way, you've got to reach out for help to treat the depression, not "fix" all the other stuff.
(0)
Report
Thanks. I even wrote the phrase down to keep. I have talked about K before where I think if someone had done the work for her, she would have been happy. I pointed her in the right direction giving her all the info but she refused to carry thru. Always an excuse why she couldn't do it. And like u said, she had "friends" because they felt sorry for her because all she did was complain. I don't want friends that do for me because I make them feel guilty.
(0)
Report
You are so right. We make our choices. Many choices we make from habitual ways of acting and reacting, from years of training (whether good training or bad) and for reasons that aren't stated, that are hidden. People need to understand that the way forward has to be theirs, that it will be uncomfortable as it is the unknown, that there are things they are "getting" in compensation for not moving forward (some people martyr themselves and get most of their socialization by bewailing how tough their lives are; sympathy comes from well-meaning friends; but they eventually get very tired of it and they move on.
I think we DO both DISable and ENable, almost co people by sympathizing.
It is also to be remembered that when an OP writes us about how cruelly they are treated we are hearing ONE side, THEIR side.
And it is so true, that we can lead them to water. Whether they drink or not is on them.
I love this post.
(1)
Report
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

Recent Questions


Popular Questions


Related Questions

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter