I posted recently about my brother setting up an appoinment behind my back for me to assume payments for a service provider for my father, a service he assumed years ago. Well, I didn't even have to say that I wouldn't pay. He knew by my non-verbal communication. Then he started in on how now he and his wife are taking complete control of my father's life! My father is frail and forgetful but not incompacitated by any means! He is like when he was 50 except I will admit he does forget some things that a younger person wouldn't.
So I didn't say I wasn't in agreement; I didn't argue at all. I just inputed some ideas I thought were helpful and brought up an event he should be aware of. He told me to "Shut up. We are doing this and I don't want to hear a peep from you." I hung up.
I called my father and he knew nothing that all kinds of plans were being made for him and he was shocked and not happy. Just as I thought.
Thank you for everyone for "listening". I have known my brother for decades; lots of great times, but now it's over. I feel sick about it but there's also a strength I find that I am able to stick up for myself. I will be controled by him or certainly will not live his life. I'm also going to fight if they do things that deprive my father of his independence.
I have actually looked at going to other places other than San Diego but with covid I am a bit scared to fly right now. The good thing is even though I'm in the same city as my brother and dad it is a low chance of me coming into to contact with them. So for the short term it's ok but I went through my shoes and selcted the two pais that are coming with me if I decide to leave.
As far as covid goes, well how’d you get down to where brother and dad were during the pandemic? Your car? Then utilize it to move somewhere other than this city that in the last post is like Peytons Place if you won’t fly. Then again flying is a pretty safe option considering it’s one of the few places still mandating masks. That’ll probably not last a month more, so if you want max protection, go now.
It doesn’t have to be San Diego. It need only be far enough for you two, you three, to get distance. You are not doing yourself any favors there or dad either. For now you are cut off from these two. That’s massively painful, but the longer you keep scratching at the wound, the less likely it will heal.
You said yourself you only moved down for dad. But it’s not working and you can’t hover there hoping bro will high tail it to Costa Rica. He probably won’t. So while it may sound like defeat to retreat, it really isn’t. They don’t want your help. Maybe move to somewhere with a fresh start, or back to your past hometown that you said you liked.
So my question again is why are you there? You are as likely to get covid there than any place in the us you choose to go to. Wouldn’t it help to Airbnb it by some beach, draw a breath, and see what happens. It’s not like anyone wants you to stay, nor do you see this place as home.