I am starting this discussion in large part to document my thoughts and feelings. Feel free to chime in, ignore or add.
Back on November 2020 (I was a VERY cranky COVID isolator), I noticed that DH seemed to be having a jolly old time reading something on his tablet. I am one of thise folks who can take in the gist of a written page at a glance; he was having a convo with someone who was clearly a scammer ("I am from [fill in name of African country] and need to meet someone..."). Told him he was being scammed which he hotly denied. Next day he told me about an email purportedly from Microsoft (clearly a phish).
This is someone who has spent his life and career in tech.
I emailed his doc who said "the man has more risk factors for dementia than any 3 people I know, please have him evaluated".
We had an intake appointment on Friday with a really smart and well-qualified young doc from NYU who recommended MRI, neuropsych testing and an additional blood test (Vitamin B12). When we got home, I sat down with DH and went over who was going to arrange for what. He had the MRI the next day and has the order for the blood work. He can do a walk in at local lab. He sent prior reports to his PCP and cardio.
I sent an email to one of the neuropsych clinicians today and told him that he would be hearing from her. He said "what are you looking for with this testing?" (I'm a reitired school psychologist, so maybe not a totally off the wall question?).
I reminded him about the doc appointment we'd had on Friday. He claimed that he's forgotten the details.
Oy. Ok. Here we go, folks. I just turned 68, and he will do so in a couple of weeks.
If anyone has any wisdom, please share. Love to you all. B
Mass Formation
Dr. Mattias Desmet
Exhausted Piper said:
"Lots of things can cause brain fog and memory issues, so this may not be dementia at all. It could be something else that needs to be treated."
Praying for you now.
Let us know how the testing goes.
I always appreciate your wisdom in responding to others.
Logically I know you know this, because you are a smart woman, but I also understand why you would be scared. Try to take it step by step we are all here for you no matter what the outcome. {{{{Barb}}}}
Please let us know the results, and how you both are doing. I will be keeping you and your DH in my prayers.
For some reason, nothing I posted last night showed up til this AM.
["I sent an email to one of the neuropsych clinicians today and told him that he would be hearing from her. He said "what are you looking for with this testing?" ."]
I wish I had just the right words to say to make things better, or give you comfort, but I find my words woefully inadequate in the face of your situation.
Please know that my most fervent, heartfelt prayers are being lifted on behalf of you, your husband and your family. Prayers for good news, courage, comfort and peace.
(((hugs)))
The same sort of thing happens at my office, often. Someone will come in or call and expect me to remember details of conversations that I had even a year ago. I have gotten better, this job is great for my memory banks.
I cannot even remember some conversations from the week before. It is not uncommon for me to talk to 50-60 people about different projects in a week.
I am always surprised by the new things my dH comes up with, the forgetting, the denial that happened, and yes, the out and out lying.
Protect yourself, protect your tech guy, and protect your marriage.
Then I would say, just take one day at a time, and don't waste your time worrying about what the future may hold, as worrying only effects you, and is never productive.
Life is so very short, and it is meant to be enjoyed and truly lived, not just going through the motions. So embrace each day you have left with your husband,(as none of us are guaranteed tomorrow)and try and make the best of them.
And what's the worst that can happen, he gets diagnosed with one of the dementias? He will still be the man you married and love, and so you then figure out a way to make this new journey work, and let him know that you are in it with him, right by his side.
No one ever said that life would be easy, but when it's someone that you love, you do whatever it takes to help lighten their load.
Praying for God's blessings over you and your husband.