Follow
Share

Live in FIL has filled his room with old work awards. He has basically decorated his room as a shrine to himself. There is not one square inch of wall space left. I just ignore it because we gave him the room and it’s his to do what he wants. Secondly, is it common or normal for an 85 yr old man to constantly talk about himself? First, he talks about his health all the time. If not talking about his health, he talks about all the things he has done work wise in the past. I’m thinking maybe because that’s who he was and his identity was tied up in his work. What behaviors can one expect from an 85 year old?

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
I watched an interesting documentary one time on the stages of aging. It went from younger to older age groups.

The very first thing that was said about seniors sums this up perfectly. The senior years are our reflective years because there are more years behind us than in front of us so this it’s why it’s natural for this age group to reflect.

It’s the opposite for people in their 20’s which were referred to as the building years with many years to look ahead.

Anyway it was really interesting how the age groups were described by the decades, building years, marriage, career advances, children, retirement, reflecting and so on.
(2)
Report

This kind of behavior could just be a senior fearing the end and trying to hang on to good memories OR it could be the manifestations of a narcissist. At his age, I'd just try to tolerate it and let him be, if it makes him happy.

I wasn't familiar with the term narcissist either until a few months ago. I thought that it was someone who was just very full of themselves, but, it's much more. I did a lot of reading about it and spotted a couple of people that I have known who fit it perfectly. I never could figure out WHY these people that I knew behaved the way they did. THEN, I found out why. I'm no expert, but, according to what I read, some symptoms of this condition often involves people who lack empathy for others, demand control over others, feign affection, wear a mask of being a nice person, when they really aren't, delight in hurting others and have no conscience of their wrong doing.
(0)
Report

MargaretMcKen, he has always been self centered. I’ll look up narcissism to understand it better. I don’t even see this changing. For what it’s worth he is a total chauvinist as well.
(0)
Report

Cw, I think a senior center during day would be great or even some kind of companion to come in and take him out for a couple hours twice a week but for the life of me my husband, his son, just won’t do it. I feel his dad needs some socialization outside of us. It drives me crazy because the only place I can get away for privacy is my bedroom.
(1)
Report

Is this new behaviour, or has FIL been self centred for a long time? Old age and dementia can simply magnify things that were there anyway. Have you checked the information about narcissism? If this is new, cwillie’s ideas are good (hard to put in practice though), and you might try a doctor to see if meds would help.
(1)
Report

I think that sometimes older people turn inwards because there isn't anything new going on in their lives, if you are sitting at home seeing no one most of the week what else is there to talk about? Any possibility that he could be out of the house at a senior's centre or adult day care during the week?
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.

Start a Discussion

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter