Is this emotional blackmail? I am furious!

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I really need help dealing with a stressful/confusing situation. It is complicated to explain and lengthy so be prepared. My uncle (my Dad's brother), has been married several times and has a couple children (we don't know the actual number) whom he does not have contact with. I have tried to reconnect 1 cousin w/my uncle and was completely ignored. My uncle just turned 65 on Saturday but is in poor health due to being morbidly obese for 30 years. He is around 400lbs & can barely walk and somehow holds a supervisor position which he is retiring from in December. Obviously, him retiring will cause him to become even more sedentary. My uncle is also a caretaker for my other uncle, who is Schizophrenic. Schizo uncle has been diagnosed with lung disease, etc, horrible health, smokes 3 packs of smokes a day and drinks 2 cases of coke a DAY and he is diabetic. Just a total nightmare. Schizo uncle can barely breath and is expected to live another 1-2 years. So, that is the preface let's get into the meat of things. Uncle 1 expects uncle 2 to die ahead of him, and then expects me to become his caretaker and see him through. He came over proclaiming he didn't need his house anymore, that it was too big for him to care for and he was signing it over to me as it was to be left to be after his death anyway. He asked my husband, who is a skilled carpenter, to build him and uncle #2 a cottage behind the main house bc he can care for a smaller space easier and it would then be used as a guest home after his death. The main house is on a large piece of land, there are 3 different gate entrances and we would divide off our lawns with property fence.We made it clear to uncle #1 the entire time that we did not intend on living in main house for any period of time as we had already made plans to move back to my home-state. We have made it clear we intend on living there 1-2 years to save money for a house and then we are leaving. He acts as if he doesn't hear us. He will say "You need to do what is best for you" and then turn around and say things that imply I am expected to be his grocery shopper/errand runner/nurse aide. I am becoming very bitter about the whole matter. We are in our late 20's with a 1 year old. We are newlyweds. We do not want this baggage. I have been completely honest w/uncle #1 and he replied with a story of he understood at a young age that uncle #2 would be left to him to be responsible for, that no one in the family care enough to make sure he was ok after my grandparents death (which is totally untrue) and that bc he had sacrificed his life to care for uncle #2 that I am expected to do the same for him. He said bc he has no friends, our family is all dying off and I am basically *it*. he then added in that "there is a special place in hell for people who put their family members into homes".The house is being held as leverage over our heads. I would like to add that he has spent close to 20k so far on supplies for this cottage to be built and husband is 20% into completion on the damned thing. My uncle of course didn't let me know his intentions for MY(our) future until he had spent the money and husband had started construction.He and my Dad have a very shady relationship and my uncle tends to try to control, obviously. My Dad and him have gotten into it more than once over this house situation in regards to my uncle trying to take over my life. It is infuriating that my daughter's childhood would essentially be me playing hospital to my uncle who never ever took care of his health at ALL. My uncle is a good person deep down but, he spent his entire life being a crotchety S.O.B. who womanized and abandoned and he is very much a tormented soul. I feel like if you leave an inheritance to someone it should be out of a sincere heart, not to force them or guilt them into wiping your ass. I am so bitter about the situation and my poor husband is now working 5 days a week 12 hour days and then expected at uncle's 12 hours Sat & 12 hours Sun. And if husband doesn't show uncle is on the phone chewing ME out for it. How did it even get to this? I'm more mad at myself than anything. I feel mad bc I don't know how to handle this situation. I am mad that he is so arrogant and condescending I feel like I can't stand up to him. If I try to explain to him we are NOT staying in this state he yells and talks over me waving his hands and slamming his fists onto whatever is near him. But, I feel like I can't walk away from him bc there is literally NO ONE to look after him. He has made it clear if we do not accept the house and live in it until he's dead he will never speak to me again. I am losing sleep over all of this and I have cried a thousand tears over the stress. I need insight and advice please.

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Tell Uncle #1 to sell the big house and use the money to pay for in-home help. You move where you want to and live your life. Sounds like your family has done little to nothing to enrich your life so I wouldn't waste anymore emotional time worrying about them. The Hallmark family is a greeting card, not real life.
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Zombie: I saw that, too! A diabetic drinking Coke is a no no-BIG TIME!
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I'm confused. It sounds like Uncle #1 has money, at least in the case of his home, correct? Many people sell their homes to move in to assisted living. My old boss once told me that there was a special place in heaven for people like me who devote their lives to caring for their parents in their home. Yet, it often feels like I'm in hell. If you want his home, and it sounds like you don't, you could stay and try to do your best. It sounds like you want out though. I'm sure your uncle is scared of being alone or left in a "home." Some people you can have rational discussions with, and some you cannot. Perhaps outside help can make him understand his options clearly. On a side note, Uncle #2 needs someone to make him comply with a more healthy lifestyle. It's one thing for someone to not see a doctor (like my dad) but I would never let him (he's diabetic) drink Coke.
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As I said, let the kids come out of the woodwork! The 400# quite likely will have a stroke. YOU, MY DEAR, ARE TO STEP DOWN NOW!
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Now that you have been given excellent advice, what are you going to do with it?
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JBlack, first, "be good" to yourself, husband and your child in making plans to extract yourself from this situation. Then later in your life when you have time, you can always "be good" to others by doing volunteer work, working with rescued animals, etc. There's always a need for people who want to "do good."
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I really appreciate everyone's supportive replies/advice. Reading everyone's opinions of what needs to happen validates that I don't need to feel guilty when we move from them.

@BrianCares :OMGSH you are SO right about they only care about me as a caregiver. That really hit the nail on the head. My Dad came out as a homosexual when I was around 10 years old. The family shunned him bc of his sexuality and bc of how he handled it. My mother ended up not wanting me & dumped me on my Dad to raise. So I basically never saw either sides of my family bc they didnt want to see my Dad. And fast-forward 20 years and here's where we're at. It really burns my ass bc it is this unspoken "we ignored you for 2 decades but here's a house to shut you up". They have slowly allowed my Dad back in but, my Dad doesn't really care about them to be honest. Anyway, there's no sense in me rehashing all of this garbage. It just really blows my mind how things have ended up. And I have this strange feeling towards other humans bc of how selfish people really can be. I have this desperate gnawing force in me to be the "good" in the world bc there are far too many people like my family.
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Setting boundaries is part of standing up to these folks. Normal conflict resolution doesn't work with manipulative bullies. They don't have healthy personalities and thus don't respond to reason.
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On this forum, the advice given is often to set boundaries and stand up to manipulative and in this case, bullying family members.

Please know that many of the folks who write this to you have dealt with the difficulties of doing this....the anger, the nastiness, the "scorch the earth" attitude of these folks, because I'll bet no one has ever had the courage to stand up to them so they just have no idea how to handle it. But they did it because they had to protect themselves and their families. They know you may read their advice and feel overwhelmed at the very idea of looking at your uncle and saying, no that's not possible...you'll need to make other arrangements. They know it's scary for you.

But you can do this, with your husband, for your own family. The way he's been treating you folks, this is a toxic relationship that can only get worse. If he can care for his brother, he can find Plan B. Better that you all live in an apartment for while, making your own way on your own terms.
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Reach out to Dr. Laura. You can find her on satellite radio serious XM CH 109 at 2:00pm EST or Google her and go to her website. Her last name is Sclessinger. She will cut through all of the issues you have that they are "family". There are services that these people can utilize. Good luck
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