So here goes; My husband and I met 11 yrs ago and in this small world, both of our fathers worked for and retired from the same large company in a small town about 5 hrs away from us many years ago. (we are 60ish) My father passed from Parkinson’s 20yrs ago but my mother was still active with the companies retiree committee and had met my husband's father and his wife before my husband and I ever met. Two years ago his father's wife passed away. She wasn’t well liked by his family so most of the siblings were ok with their father being alone despite his health issues. He quickly struck up a friendship with my widowed mother. They are 87 and 90yrs old. My husband convinced his dad to move closer to us and he bought a small home a few blocks from us. Perfect right? Well it didn’t take long before he admitted to hating living alone and started after my mom to move into his house. Separate bedrooms of course lol. My mother has been on her own and very independent for 20yrs and was very unsure. I had been trying to get her to consider moving closer or into our basement suite for some time so she reluctantly agreed as she now has some health issues of her own although they don’t hold her back. She liked the companionship so she gave it a whirl but hasn’t sold her home so she has an out if things should go south.
We all thought it was wonderful for them at their age. Everyone except my step daughter that is, who thinks it’s disgusting and refuses to consider otherwise. I am now married to my brother she points out regularly lol.
My father in law's wife that passed controlled his every move and his finances so there was some relief in the family that he could now live life as he wished and buy what he wanted.
So, my mom moves in and starts behaving like she owns the joint, telling him not to buy this or that. She is not paying any rent, any of the home expenses and contributes only to food and only 25% of it because as she says she doesn’t eat much. She is getting quite comfortable living on his dime which causes issues between my brother-husband and I. I think she should be paying her fair share for ethical reasons and my husband doesn’t like what he sees as a repeat of his late step mothers control. As my mother has aged she has totally lost her filter when it comes to speaking her mind too which ruffles a lot of feathers. She can be quite rude. My brother who lives far away was always the golden child and I was never up to her standards. Something she points out regularly. She’s a rather snotty Brit and is all about appearances. My husband's dad is the type that tells people whatever he thinks they want to hear which causes confusion between everyone. Now my husband and siblings are concerned everything will go to her in the end and frankly I agree with them. It just would not be right and I can see my mother coercing him into something like that because that’s what she’s like and has always been taken care of so living off his money is quite normal to her.
I guess I’m really just wanting to blow off steam so I thank you for allowing me to do that. I feel like I’m getting so bitter and I don’t like it. We try to laugh about it, my brother-husband and I but I get very hurt by her snits and fear one day my husband is going to rip her a new one. I just keep telling myself she’s ninety and I know I will miss her when the time comes. That’s if I don’t stroke out in the mean time 🤯🤯🤯
Thanks again for listening