Today starts off with crying because my mom had a BM accident. Because she is so focused on her bus driver coming to get her to bring her to adult day health she can not focus on getting cleaned up. As it is 6:45 am and I'm and trying so hard to stay cool. She is holding a BM pad in her hands with feces on her shirt and legs. I feel like I 'm upsetting her more with my suggestions on how to get cleaned up. With all my suggestions, she says I do not understand. Trying to keep her focused is impossible. She is stubborn. I feel like my whole house has a need to feel right. My 6yr old just comes down to say that Gram is walking around in her underwear!! This ais after I laid pants etc... out for her to wear. My life is crazy

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Sounds like your Mom may need more prompting or just plain someone taking calm control to help her. Sometimes giving her options is overwhelming to her (too many to think through) and so making things simple works. If she's walking around in her underwear, she's prolly confused.

In stressful situations, my Mom cannot focus enough to figure out a logical progression of activity. eg Normal: take off soiled items. Use wipes or washcloth/towel to clean up. Put on clean underwear. Put on clean clothes. Done!

e.g Struggling: take off soiled items. put on clean underwear. Done! (or worse prgression.)

Your mom sounds like she needs more help than her normal. At least to me.

I have to keep my cool and just get the wipes and clean my husband up for him. I help him with the dirty ones and with putting on the new dry ones. I don't have anyone else around to help or do I have any other little ones! So, I just take care of the situation and make him comfortable and then it is done. Try it.l Don't let yourself get all worked up. That is stressfull. Just try. It takes practice. Deep breathing, counting to ten helps. Eventually you will get it.

Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter