...it all changed. I brought my mother (92) to the ER last month. Infected gallbladder. 14 days in the hospital. Released with gallbladder drain & bag, Foley catheter, UTI. Now in rehab. Will not be going back to her condo (she lived alone).
She's always said if she had to go to a nursing home, that it would be the local Catholic one. It's $7600/month. Her LTC insurance will pay $7000/month for 7 years.
Two of my brothers have agreed I should be paid $20/hour. And I can go back two years to when I started my Dummy Daughter Driver duties! My mother will be furious ("You don't pay family!"), but she will not know, since my brothers have taken over the bill paying. She will never qualify for Medicaid, so no caregiver contract or need for taxes to be withheld.
I spent all day, every day while she was in the hospital. I am only visiting her in the afternoons at the rehab facility, and will be weaning her off the daily visits.
Two of my brothers have come to see her, but not Sonny-No-Show.
My mother is bemoaning my poor brother that will be doing the bills. She doesn't want me involved, but I will have to be involved, since I am the local one. Not a word about all the time *I've* put in. But then, my time isn't worth anything. Or so she thinks...it's actually been worth $20/hour.
(BTW, I am NOT charging for every hour.)
There was never any question that she would NOT be coming to live with any of us. I would be the logical one (local, one-story house), but she told me years ago she would never live with me. And I would never have her live with me. And neither would my brothers.